@ Confu ... we're just beating a dead horse here... and if you actually read what is written, you will see that we are both saying the same thing. The difference of course being that I make sense and you don't. i kid i kid...
@ Confu... it IS the parents responsibility because they are the ones that choose to bring them into the world. The influences of grandparents, teachers, uncles, aunts are obviously inevitable but it is NOT their responsibility. The responsibility weighs heavily on the parents, otherwise, what was the point of bringing them into the world? So that other people can teach them? That makes no sense.
DEFINE RESPONSIBILITY IN YOUR TERMS......
THINK AOBUT THIS DONT YOU THINK THAT WHEN OUR KIDS GO TO SCHOOL OR GO INTO SOCIETY THEY ARE TAUGHT THINGS.... US ARE PARENT OUR MAIN GOAL IS TO EMPHASIZE WHAT THEY ARE TAUGHT...
AND THAT ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT!!!
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I DONT CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, IM A PROUD MEMBER OF THE S.L.U.T CAMPAIGN
Lahtina-good point, and it seems that no matter what amount of good the parent does for their child, society will play the major most influential part in your child's life.
La verdad que a mi ni ganas me da de temer hijos, por el miedo que tengo que se dejen llevar por todo lo malo que hay hoy. The last thing i want is for my child to become a hoodlum, even after i gave him the best of everything.
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The opinions expressed by this poster can be offensive and are mainly directed at Dogo. Delta gamma b i t c h-orama. Copyright 2008 All rights reserved.
TV Buff wrote: Agree wholeheartedly with that comment. You provide your kids with the basic principles that you hope they'll abide by, but there's such thing as choice, and they get to an age where you can't dictate anymore. It's totally up to them (as it was to us, as sons and daughters). Hopefully your teachings will hold and they'll make the right decisions. Although I also firmly believe that from mistakes come growth and most of the times it is your mistakes that make you a much better person.
Mhmm, mhmm, mhmmm. You can't turn back and blame the parents. If you do that, then you have to consider that the parents are also the kids of some other parents and so they must be to blame as well and then so are the great grandparents and the great, great grandparents and next thing you know we're blaming our ancestors and their crazy development of agriculture.
Besides, do parents get any recognition when it comes to the successes of the child? How come only the bad? Boo!
One again Jaime, applauzeee for the interesting topic.
Although, I do not think that the parents are to blame for everything their children get into, the parents definitely play a key role.
It is the parents' responsibility to teach morals, respect and responsibility and set the boundaries in which their kids are grow, make mistakes and learn. The key here is finding the balance that works for both the parents as well as their kids. If the parents are too strict, the kids will rebel and if the parents are lack luster, then the kids have no limits and rebel.
Keep in mind that kids don't come with the manual. You raise them the best you can and hope for the best.
Agree wholeheartedly with that comment. You provide your kids with the basic principles that you hope they'll abide by, but there's such thing as choice, and they get to an age where you can't dictate anymore. It's totally up to them (as it was to us, as sons and daughters). Hopefully your teachings will hold and they'll make the right decisions. Although I also firmly believe that from mistakes come growth and most of the times it is your mistakes that make you a much better person.
I got pregnant at the age of 16 turning 17! I was young and well lets just say that i was "In Love" needless to say my mother from the first time i brought him home sat us both down and said i know one day you will both want to do this and well here are the pros and cons! then asked if we had already had sex and at that point we didnt! then she said all i ask is the day you decide to take that step in life please be safe and careful and explained it todo condoms pills everything! Needless to say we were irresponsible and had sex however "nieve" he pulled out and i thought oh were safe! well one month later guess what yep no period!!!! so i had no way of telling my mother why cuz she said she would kick me out! Well regardless we had a tight relationship i told her she helped me chose a doctor took me to all my appointments and unfortunantly (or a good thing) i miscarried a month and a half later! worst expereince at that time in my life! however she did the right thing she educated me PERO YO METI LA PATA NOT HER BUT AFTER ALL THAT SHE STILL HELPED ME!! so please dont say this or that if u dont know how ur gonna be when ur older! we all mature and when faced with something like this our opinons change drastically!!
I agree with THAT wholeheartedly... As a parent, I DO sometimes say if my kid does this or that or fails me in this or that other way, I would do so and so... EVEN IF WE MEAN IT AT THE TIME, until it ACTUALLY HAPPENS to you, you really don't know what you're going to do... After all, they are blessings in our life and we grow to love our kids no matter what - yes, we get upset and may hate WHAT THEY DO or the roads that they may take or some of their decisions, but at the end of the day, we don't stop caring and loving them. At the end of the day, MOST LOVING PARENTS end up helping clean up the "mess" that our children create... or help them out with the obstacles that they create in their lives.
I really agree with these two blurbs.
@Genie - were our mom sisters or something? LOL. I pretty much had pretty much the same situation with my mom when I had my first daughter. And I agree the parents are not necessarily to blame because, like I mentioned in the other thread, my mom threatened me left, right and centre about me coming home pregnant before marriage, I was gonna get disowned, etc. But when push came to shove, obviously my mom did not turn her back on me. So your parents can tell you in a nice way, hit you, yell at you, whatever, if you dont want to listen you dont. And even more for a girl, when you`re head over heels in love, naive, and young, trust me that`s a lethal combination. Take it from me.
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Delta Gamma B i t c h - oramaCopyright 2008 All Rights Reserved
Every individual have their own mind but that is full of concepts, morals, values, etc,. given by their parents FIRST,. it is true that as kids we are influenced more with the bad things that society teach us than with the good things,.. but why is that?? why do we choose bad over good??? probably because our nature since Adam and Eva times (for those who belive) when God told them do not eat it ,. they did,. we try to do what we are told NOT TO,. but did God tell them the consequences?? NO,...
Parents are not the ones to blame 100% but yes they do have responsabilities on how their kids are,. and how they will be as adults,... I know as adult that I did, do and will make mistakes ,.. and I will learn form experinces,. but always I will remember what my mom told me ,. the consequences and I will always ask myself WHY am I doing this?? and since a young each you conciouss need to be train to tell you ,. STOP don't do this,. and we need to be taught TO LISTEN,.
Genie mention the mother of the person involve in the Dawson College Shoting,.. we do not what type of life they were living,. Saying that you love your klids is not enough,. you have to show them that you care,. giving them what they need,. money etc,. doesn't tell them that they are important in your life,. as parents we have to learn how to get the message across to our kids,.
I got pregnant at the age of 16 turning 17! I was young and well lets just say that i was "In Love" needless to say my mother from the first time i brought him home sat us both down and said i know one day you will both want to do this and well here are the pros and cons! then asked if we had already had sex and at that point we didnt! then she said all i ask is the day you decide to take that step in life please be safe and careful and explained it todo condoms pills everything! Needless to say we were irresponsible and had sex however "nieve" he pulled out and i thought oh were safe! well one month later guess what yep no period!!!! so i had no way of telling my mother why cuz she said she would kick me out! Well regardless we had a tight relationship i told her she helped me chose a doctor took me to all my appointments and unfortunantly (or a good thing) i miscarried a month and a half later! worst expereince at that time in my life! however she did the right thing she educated me PERO YO METI LA PATA NOT HER BUT AFTER ALL THAT SHE STILL HELPED ME!! so please dont say this or that if u dont know how ur gonna be when ur older! we all mature and when faced with something like this our opinons change drastically!!
I agree with THAT wholeheartedly... As a parent, I DO sometimes say if my kid does this or that or fails me in this or that other way, I would do so and so... EVEN IF WE MEAN IT AT THE TIME, until it ACTUALLY HAPPENS to you, you really don't know what you're going to do... After all, they are blessings in our life and we grow to love our kids no matter what - yes, we get upset and may hate WHAT THEY DO or the roads that they may take or some of their decisions, but at the end of the day, we don't stop caring and loving them. At the end of the day, MOST LOVING PARENTS end up helping clean up the "mess" that our children create... or help them out with the obstacles that they create in their lives.
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Not everything I post or say on foro are necesarily true facts. <- THAT is a fact! :blankstare:
I got pregnant at the age of 16 turning 17! I was young and well lets just say that i was "In Love" needless to say my mother from the first time i brought him home sat us both down and said i know one day you will both want to do this and well here are the pros and cons! then asked if we had already had sex and at that point we didnt! then she said all i ask is the day you decide to take that step in life please be safe and careful and explained it todo condoms pills everything! Needless to say we were irresponsible and had sex however "nieve" he pulled out and i thought oh were safe! well one month later guess what yep no period!!!! so i had no way of telling my mother why cuz she said she would kick me out! Well regardless we had a tight relationship i told her she helped me chose a doctor took me to all my appointments and unfortunantly (or a good thing) i miscarried a month and a half later! worst expereince at that time in my life! however she did the right thing she educated me PERO YO METI LA PATA NOT HER BUT AFTER ALL THAT SHE STILL HELPED ME!! so please dont say this or that if u dont know how ur gonna be when ur older! we all mature and when faced with something like this our opinons change drastically!!
I WILL ASK U THE SAME THING WHEN U GUYS GROW OLD AND U HAVE A DAUGHTER AND SHE COMES HOME PREGNANT SEE IF YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY.....
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!! IM SORRY BUT U CANT SAY THIS RIGHT NOW!! CUZ UR CHILD WILL MEAN THE WORLD TO U!! EVEN THE MOM WHOS SON SHOT ALL THOSE PPL YESTERDAY HER THOUGHTS ARE WHERE DID I GO WRONG BUT HES STILL MY BABY AND THATS THAT
NO POR NADA ITS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!! MEANING NO IF ANDS OR BUTS!!!!
Ya if my daugher has a kid she better run too One thing I know is that if my kid boy/girl decides to have a kid before the age of 19, he or she will not be bumming around the house raising it. He/She better continue their education and get a job. If he/she is responsible enought to have a baby the they should be responsible enought to raise the baby on their own.
Usually teenagers don't decide to get pregnant at such a young age. It's usually caused because of lack of knowledge on the consequences from having sex. Parents have to talk to their children about sex and STD's, but i sure wouldn't put my daughter on birth controls. I might as well just say "go and have sex"! But if she were to become pregnant, i would be there for my kid, but i would definately make sure that the parents are responsible enough to try to finish school and work.
My mother did speak to me about sex, consequences and what she would do if i were to come home pregnant. Either way, my mom raised me right. Like every child, you will do many wrongs, but you learn from your experiences.
This is a good topic and i know everyone has different views on this!
I WILL ASK U THE SAME THING WHEN U GUYS GROW OLD AND U HAVE A DAUGHTER AND SHE COMES HOME PREGNANT SEE IF YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY.....
@ Confu: maybe hun, but till then I stand strong in wat I believe is right/wrong, acceptable or not from my one day to have children.
@JC: TOTALLY Agree with you. No way they are getting it easy from me cus they are my children, if they want easy then like me, follow rules & do things when it's ur right time & when u can do it well.
@ Confu... it IS the parents responsibility because they are the ones that choose to bring them into the world. The influences of grandparents, teachers, uncles, aunts are obviously inevitable but it is NOT their responsibility. The responsibility weighs heavily on the parents, otherwise, what was the point of bringing them into the world? So that other people can teach them? That makes no sense.
PRINCESSA wrote: Well maybe not 100% fully, but sure hell is at most fault.
Do you guys think parents are to blame until the kid reaches a certain age?
Like at 15 or 16 when most teens start to rebel and think they are adults....and in some sad cases thugs do you think the parents should still get as much blame? I mean some people think they become individuals at that age?
Well for me & the way I'm raised is that u live with ur children untill they are married, untill then you still live under ur "parents" "household" rules, now in my house neither me or any of my brothers ever done anything bad or stupid that would my parents, but if we did or do, it's simple ur out & on your own: basically = disowened. No Friggin around in my house, my parents have 0 tolerance for bull****.
I think that it's this society that makes our teens get screwed, honestly what kinda crap is this that at age 16 u have the choice as an adult to keep the baby if preagnant or that 18 ur a fully grown adult & should move out. PLEASE this ALLLLL Wrong & disgusting in my opinion.
If I have a daughter & she gets pregnant at age 16, ohhhh God she better run.
Ya if my daugher has a kid she better run too One thing I know is that if my kid boy/girl decides to have a kid before the age of 19, he or she will not be bumming around the house raising it. He/She better continue their education and get a job. If he/she is responsible enought to have a baby the they should be responsible enought to raise the baby on their own.
PRINCESSA wrote: Well maybe not 100% fully, but sure hell is at most fault.
Do you guys think parents are to blame until the kid reaches a certain age?
Like at 15 or 16 when most teens start to rebel and think they are adults....and in some sad cases thugs do you think the parents should still get as much blame? I mean some people think they become individuals at that age?
Well for me & the way I'm raised is that u live with ur children untill they are married, untill then you still live under ur "parents" "household" rules, now in my house neither me or any of my brothers ever done anything bad or stupid that would my parents, but if we did or do, it's simple ur out & on your own: basically = disowened. No Friggin around in my house, my parents have 0 tolerance for bull****.
I think that it's this society that makes our teens get screwed, honestly what kinda crap is this that at age 16 u have the choice as an adult to keep the baby if preagnant or that 18 ur a fully grown adult & should move out. PLEASE this ALLLLL Wrong & disgusting in my opinion.
If I have a daughter & she gets pregnant at age 16, ohhhh God she better run.
PERSONALLY I THINK ITS EVERYONE RESPONSIBILITY TO TEACH A CHILD ABOUT RESPECT, MORALS ETC ETC.....
I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT IS SOCIETY AS A WHOLE TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN ABOUT EVERYTHING, PARENTS SOMETIMES ARE NOT AROUND SO ANYONE THAT AROUND CHILDREN THEY HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO TEACH CHILDREN ABOUT THE FUTURE ETC.....
BUT IT IS A PARENTS RESPONSIBILITY TO ENFORCE WHAT THEY LEARN WHEN THEY ARE OUT IN THE WORLD.....
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I DONT CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, IM A PROUD MEMBER OF THE S.L.U.T CAMPAIGN
PRINCESSA wrote: Well maybe not 100% fully, but sure hell is at most fault.
Do you guys think parents are to blame until the kid reaches a certain age?
Like at 15 or 16 when most teens start to rebel and think they are adults....and in some sad cases thugs do you think the parents should still get as much blame? I mean some people think they become individuals at that age?
I think the majority of the responsibility belongs to the parents and some to the children.
Each child has their unique personality with their own learning style . It is up to the parents to recognize these traits and adjust their parenting skills accordingly to get the message across.
With society being a strong influence, it is not enough to just 'provide everything' to the children and never expect the children to make poor decisions. Parents have to drive the message home to their children in the manner that the children will learn and understand best.
As for external factors, if the children learned well from their parents then the children will make wise decisions when it comes to peer pressure and irresponsible behaviour (fingers crossed).
Definitely is a touching subject. I believe from my personal upbring as a latin child in this country. Yes we were educated enough but you gotta take in effect the influences one sees growing up either being uncle, cousins, aunts, etc. I know some kids pick up quicker then others and others all live in different situations. The world is going nuts and children are experiencing **** left and right. Either to be cool, pure pressure or it's just ya horomones going crazy. I feel that both are the ones to blame to a certain extend. Personally myself from experience growing up. Yes my parents educated me enough. Pero siendo un chavalo travieso y curioso well obviously I experience at a young age. Are my parent's to blame? No they educated me enuff, fui yo el chavalo curioso that did it not them.
NOT ALWAYS, NOT NECESSARILY the parent’s FAULT when kids mess up!
A lot that we LEARN – including our values and our morals – have to do with how we are raised as we grow up. What we DO as ADULTS with what we were taught in our childhood is up to us, as individuals. We can choose to follow what we were taught, or we can deviate and learn new (BAD) values and go another way.
We can have come from great homes with great parents guiding us, but sometimes when we grow up, we can be influenced by other forces (friends, experiences in life, etc) and end up NOTHING like we were raised to be.
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Not everything I post or say on foro are necesarily true facts. <- THAT is a fact! :blankstare:
One again Jaime, applauzeee for the interesting topic.
Although, I do not think that the parents are to blame for everything their children get into, the parents definitely play a key role.
It is the parents' responsibility to teach morals, respect and responsibility and set the boundaries in which their kids are grow, make mistakes and learn. The key here is finding the balance that works for both the parents as well as their kids. If the parents are too strict, the kids will rebel and if the parents are lack luster, then the kids have no limits and rebel.
Keep in mind that kids don't come with the manual. You raise them the best you can and hope for the best.
One again Jaime, applauzeee for the interesting topic.
Although, I do not think that the parents are to blame for everything their children get into, the parents definitely play a key role.
It is the parents' responsibility to teach morals, respect and responsibility and set the boundaries in which their kids are grow, make mistakes and learn. The key here is finding the balance that works for both the parents as well as their kids. If the parents are too strict, the kids will rebel and if the parents are lack luster, then the kids have no limits and rebel.
Keep in mind that kids don't come with the manual. You raise them the best you can and hope for the best.
This is a spin off from the birth control thread and that lady from my work.
I've seen a few replies already that suggest the mother/parents is to blame. How do we justify if the parent is really the one to blame? I have seen kids grow up with excellent parents. Well educated parents who have had just about every discussion possible with their kids and still have the little runt go against everything he/she was told.
Don't get me wrong parents play a big role in how the kids grow up, but I think some parents get to much blame placed upon them when things go wrong which I don't think is right.
I don't know where I was getting at with this thread, but I guess the main question is should parents get all the blame when their kids mess up? Does it really mean they are bad parents? Or does it just mean some kids just have no hope?
No parents are not the ones to blame! you can the best child in the world i mean there educated, well brought up manners and stuff but they still mess up why??
One we live in a world where technology is so advanced and you have access to everything! I mean the world is litterally at your fingertips! so i can tell you drugs are wrong and show u all the bad things but i wont be there when u go to a party and feel peer pressured to try it?
I can tell you that these are the consequenses of sex but i cant be on every date you have and I cant babysit you 24/7 if you want to try it u will, i can tell u to use a condom or pills but if you dont heres what might happen!
I can show you the right ways of life now if you choose (and thats why we have a consciense) to do the wrong thing its ultimately your choice!
My mother raised us the right way trying to show us good and bad and what choices to make! We listened we followed and we messed up along the way are we bad for that? No you live and learn right!
To answer my own question I don't think it's always the parents fault. I personally believe some people just have no hope and are meant to be bad. Sad but true. It doesn't even have to do with pregnancy. Most have heard about criminals who were brought up properly by their parents, but just got messed up on their own and became killers or something else. Just my opinion.
This is a spin off from the birth control thread and that lady from my work.
I've seen a few replies already that suggest the mother/parents is to blame. How do we justify if the parent is really the one to blame? I have seen kids grow up with excellent parents. Well educated parents who have had just about every discussion possible with their kids and still have the little runt go against everything he/she was told.
Don't get me wrong parents play a big role in how the kids grow up, but I think some parents get to much blame placed upon them when things go wrong which I don't think is right.
I don't know where I was getting at with this thread, but I guess the main question is should parents get all the blame when their kids mess up? Does it really mean they are bad parents? Or does it just mean some kids just have no hope?
i kid i kid...
do you think the parents should still get as much blame?
my parents, but if we did or do, it's simple ur out & on your own: basically = disowened. No Friggin around in my house, my parents have 0 tolerance for bull****.
