TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

> MARIA: Here it is.

> TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

> CLASS: Maria.

> __________________________________________

>

>

> TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?

> FRANK: Because of the sign..

> TEACHER: What sign?

> FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go

>Slow."

> _________________________________

>

>

>TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on

>the floor?

>JOHN: You told me to do it without using

>tables.

> _______________________________________________

>

>

> TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"

> GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"

> TEACHER: No, that's wrong

> GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I

>spell it.

> _______________________________________________

>

>

> TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

> DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

> TEACHER: What are you talking about?

> DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

> ______________________________________________

>

>

>TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we

>didn't have ten years ago.

>WINNIE: Me!

> ______________________________________________

>

>

> TEACHER: Glen , why do you always get so dirty?

> GLEN : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than

>you are.

> _____________________________________________

>

>

> TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."

> MILLIE: I is...

> TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."

> MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter

>of the alphabet."

> __________________________________________________

>

>

>TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's

>cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his

>father didn't punish him?

>LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his

>hand.

> __________________________________________________

>

>

>TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before

>eating?

>SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good

>cook.

> __________________________________________________

>

>

>TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same

>as your brother's. Did you copy his?

>CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

> __________________________________________________

>

>

>TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking

>when people are no longer interested?

>HAROLD: A teacher.