A BLONDE GUY GETS HOME EARLY FROM WORK AND HEARS STRANGE NOISES COMING FROM THE BEDROOM. HE RUSHES UPSTAIRS TO FIND HIS WIFE NAKED ON THE BED, SWEATING AND PANTING. "WHAT'S UP?" HE SAYS "I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK," CRIES THE WOMAN.
HE RUSHES DOWNSTAIRS TO GRAB THE PHONE, BUT JUST AS HE'S DIALING, HIS 4-YEAR OLD SON COMES UP AND SAYS "DADDY! DADDY! UNCLE TED'S HIDING IN YOUR CLOSET AND HE'S GOT NO CLOTHES ON THE GUY SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN AND STORMS UPSTAIRS INTO THE BEDROOM, PAST HIS SCREAMING WIFE, AND RIPS OPEN THE CLOSET DOOR. SURE ENOUGH, THERE IS HIS BROTHER, TOTALLY NAKED, COWERING ON THE CLOSET FLOOR.
"YOU ROTTEN S.O.B.," SAYS THE HUSBAND, "MY WIFE'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK AND YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND NAKED SCARING THE KIDS!"
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was immediately attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex.
"Tarzan not know sex," he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said, "Oh... Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes and laid down on the ground. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here!"
Tarzan removed his loincloth... stepped closer with his huge manhood and then gave her an almighty kick right in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What in the Hell did you do that for?!"
On their First Night at the Hotel, Jorge and maria lay in bed until Jorge starts to hug and carress maria
10minutes passes by.......and all of the sudden ...Jorge Falls a sleep.
The Next Day, Maria Gets Up in the morning and she is all upset!
Maria Makes a telephone call to Toronto, to speak to her father with tears in her eyes,
and said!
Dad!..... I am so upset and I dont know how to tell you !!!
Maria's father reply's and said...Its all right sweetheart feel free to speak up if there is anything wrong.
Maria then Replied to her father and said!
Dad...!... last night Jorge acted very weird and just went to sleep instead of..........
Maria's father interupted and said....Maria I quite understand...Sweetheart.......
Can you please put Jorge on the Telephone
Maria then Calls Jorge to the Telephone..!
Jorge Picks up the telephone and say's hallo, all the sudden maria father starts to tell jorge in a loud voice...Jorge I am very upset at the situation with my dougter...last night
Jorge replies and say's....
I quite dont understand sir.
Maria's father said to Jorge...My Doughter is very upset at the Fact that as a couple Nothing Happen ....Last night.....!!!
Jorge Replied and said I quite don't understand Sir.
Maria's father starts telling Jorge....
Jorge Allways as a new Couple before you lay in bed, you should start to kiss and Carress...Maria
Marias father said!!!
Jorge I want you to repeat after me
Jorge said yes Sir...
Marias father spoke and said....repeat...Apples......Jorge Repeats...Aples
Pears......Jorge Repeats Pears
peaches.......Jorge Repeats Peaches
Bananas........Jorge Repeats Bananas
Maria's father said to Jorge I dont want my doughter to come upset again....
Jorge, Dont you forget!!! ...when you and Maria Lay in Bed repeately move your Body in a circular way repeating apples, Pears, Peaches, bananas over and Over..............?/,'!/
Jorge Happily tells maria's father Thank you sir, Im Sorry, This will never happen again.
As The Evening Arrise Jorge starts to undress maria,
then starts to kiss and Carress her,
Then Jorge and maria lay in bed, Jorge climbs on top of maria...
As they start to make love....Jorge remembers what maria's father said ?
Jorge then, Starts to move his body in a circular way Repeating Aples, Pears, Peaches, Bananas
Maria...all the sudden ...Starts Enjoying Jorge's Performance......and She tells Jorge,
screaming out loud.....Faster Jorge Faster,
Jorge then Repeats in a very fast way........ Apples, Pears, Peaches, Bananas,........ apples, Pears, Peaches, Bananas...........Apples, Pears, Peaches, bananas
Roses are red violets are korny, when I think of you Ohh baby I get horny...
