Mamá quien es mi papí? No lo sé hijo, eres un bebé probeta Qué es eso? PROBETAntos hombres que no sé quién es tu papá.
Princesa, te invito un trago de vino. No puedo, me cae mal para las piernas Se te hinchan?.. No, se me abren!!
Lobo, por qué tienes esa frente tan sudada, los ojos tan botados y esos dientes tan apretados? Coño Caperucita, déjame cagar tranquilo...
Dos delincuentes violan a unas monjas. Una de ellas comenta: - Perdónalos Señor, porque no saben lo que hacen La otra contesta: Será el tuyo, porquel el mío es un experto.
Un hombre le dice a una mujer: Vamos a jugar al mago.. Bueno, pero como es eso...? Yo te echo unos polvos y luego tu desapareces!!
Dicen que una vez nacio un tipo tan, pero tan feo, que el doctor dijo: Si no llora en diez segundos, es un tumor.
Llevaba tanto tiempo sin hacer el amor, que ya pensaba que FORNICAR... era un empresa de alquiler de coches!
En una oficina: Dígame su nombre. Pepepepedro Pepeperez. Perdon......, Ud. es .. tartamudo?... No, tartamudo era mi padre, y el del registro civil un hijode****!
Llega un señor a su casa y le dice a su mujer: Mi amor, tengo un grave problema en la oficina. Y su mujer le responde dandole aliento: No te preocupes, gordito. Nunca digas tengo un problema, di...tenemos un problema. A lo que su marido le dice: Muy bien! Entonces, !Nuestra secretaria va a ! tener un hijo nuestro
Maria, que felices eramos hace 15 años... Pero si no nos conociamos... Por eso Maria... por eso.
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Dios nos conceda SERENIDAD para aceptar las cosas que no podemos cambiar, VALOR para cambiar las que podemos, y SABIDURIA para conocer la diferencia.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to menuntil they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. -------------------------------------------------------------------
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"Most of us fall short much more by omission than by commission."
Roses are red violets are korny, when I think of you Ohh baby I get horny...
"Most of us fall short much more by omission than by commission."
