40-ish................................49. Adventurous.............. .........Slept with everyone. Athletic...............................No breasts. Average looking....................Moooo. Beautiful............................ ..Pathological liar. Emotionally Secure................On medication. Feminist................................Fat. Free spirit............................Junkie. Friendship first......................Former slut. New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places. Old-fashioned.......................No BJs. Open-minded.......................Desperate. Outgoing.............. ...............Loud and Embarrassing. Professional..........................Bitch. Voluptuous... .......................Very Fat. Large frame.........................Hugely Fat. Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron! 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH: 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = Let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you. 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you. 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you. 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you. 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.
I'M GOING FISHIN." Really means..."I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"
"IT'S A GUY THING." Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
I'M GOING FISHIN." Really means..."I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." Isn't more like "still going to drink a lot and see what I can take home with me ?" "OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt." I tought it was "Please do something, I am such a chicken, that I can't even take half of the pain women do" LOL
of course.... and that's "FISH".... kindda difficult to pick up a woman in fishermen outfits...
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Roses are red violets are korny, when I think of you Ohh baby I get horny...
40-ish................................49. Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone. Athletic...............................No breasts. Average looking....................Moooo. Beautiful..............................Pathological liar. Emotionally Secure................On medication. Feminist................................Fat. Free spirit............................Junkie. Friendship first......................Former slut. New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places. Old-fashioned.......................No BJs. Open-minded.......................Desperate. Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing. Professional..........................Bitch. Voluptuous..........................Very Fat. Large frame.........................Hugely Fat. Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron! 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH: 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = Let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you. 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you. 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you. 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you. 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.
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Roses are red violets are korny, when I think of you Ohh baby I get horny...
I'M GOING FISHIN." Really means..."I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
Isn't more like "still going to drink a lot and see what I can take home with me ?"
"OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt." I tought it was "Please do something, I am such a chicken, that I can't even take half of the pain women do" LOL
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A person who doesn't make mistakes is unlikely to make anything.
I'M GOING FISHIN." Really means..."I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"IT'S A GUY THING." Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Really means...."Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR." Really means....Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN." Really means..."I have no idea how it works.
"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD." Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Really means...."Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
" WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
"I CAN'T FIND IT." Really means.... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU." Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well the next 3 days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Really means.... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Really means.... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."
"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
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"To be a good Promoter you must have the heart of a Gambler and the mind of a Computer"
Roses are red violets are korny, when I think of you Ohh baby I get horny...
