I'm getting tired of security at the airport, There's too much of it. I'm tired of some fat chick with a double-digit IQ and a triple-digit income rootin' around inside my bag for no reason and never finding anything. Haven't found anything yet. Haven't found one bomb in one bag. !!!! There are no bombs! The whole thing is foggin' pointless!!!!
And it's completely without logic. There's no logic at all. They'll take away a gun but let you keep a small knife. Well, what the fack is that? In fact, there's a whole list of lethal objects they allow you to take on board. Theoretically, you could take a lil knife, an lil ice pick, a hatchet, a straight razor, a pair of scissors, knitting needles and a broken whiskey bottle, and the only thing they would say to you is, "That bag has to fit all the way under the seat in front of you." !!!!!!
And if you didn't take a weapon on board, relax. After you've been flying in first class for about an hour, they're gonna bring you a knife and fork! They actually give you a foggin' knife. It's only a table knife, but you could kill a pilot with a table knife. It might take a couple of minutes.
Especially if he's hefty.
But you could get the job done. If you really wanted to kill the prick.
There are a lot of things you could use to kill a guy. You could probably beat a guy to death with the Sunday Toronto Star , couldn't you?
Suppose you just have really big hands. Couldn't you strangle a flight attendant?
So why is it they allow a man with big, powerful hands to get on board an airplane? I'll tell you why. They know he's not a security risk, because he's already answered the three big questions.
Question number one: "Did you pack your bags yourself?" No, Carrot Top packed my bags. He and Martha Stewart and Florence Henderson came over to the house last night, fixed me a lovely lobster Newburg, gave me a full body massage with sacred oils from India, performed a four-way around-the-world and then packed my bags.
Next question. "Have your bags been in your possession the whole time?" No. Usually the night before I travel-just as the moon is rising-I place my suitcases out on the street corner and leave them there, unattended, for several hours. Just for good luck you know....
Next question.
"Has any unknown person asked you to take anything on board?" Well, what exactly is an 'unknown person'? Surely everyone is known to someone. In fact, just this morning, Kareem and Youssef Ali ben Gabba seemed to know each other quite well. They kept joking about which one of my suitcases was the heaviest."
And that's another thing they don't like at the airport. Jokes. You can't joke about a bomb. Well, why is it just jokes? What about a riddle? How about a limerick? How about a bomb anecdote? You know, no punch line, just a really cute story. Or suppose you intended the remark not as a joke but as an ironic musing? Are they prepared to make that distinction? I think not! And besides, who's to say what's funny? Airport security is a stupid idea. It's a waste of money and it's there for only one reason: to make white people feel safe. That's all it's for. To provide a feeling, an illusion, of safety in order to placate the middle class. The authorities know they can't make airplanes safe; too many people have access. You'll notice that drug smugglers don't seem to have a lot of trouble getting their little packages on board, do they?
WHAT DO U GUYS THINK ABOUT THIS???? DO U THINK THE MARSHALS MADE A MISTAKE AND NOW ARE TRYING 2 CAVER IT UP BY SAYING THAT HE SCREEN HE HAD A BOMB????
I think that this is exactly the kind of Effed up things that happen when you feed the paranoia too much! Have any lives actually been saved with all this "security" and war on terror? Ppppfffftt, sheer stupidity if you ask me.
It was like a scene out of Die Hard – a U.S. federal marshal ordering a plane passenger to freeze or he’d shoot.
But unlike that film, this story has no happy ending.
A lawman was forced to fire and kill a passenger after he deplaned at Miami International Airport on Wednesday.
The drama began when an American Airlines 757 from Colombia touched down on the tarmac around 2pm.
As the plane parked itself at the gate, a passenger stood up and indicated he had a bomb hidden inside his bag.
The air marshal confronted the man, identified as 44-year-old Rigoberto Alpizar, ordering him to lay on the ground. But the suspect somehow managed to run off the jet and officials caught up to him again. When he refused orders to freeze or surrender, one of the lawmen drew his weapon and fired.
In the end he didn't actuially have an explosive.
"All I know is that it was on the jet bridge, outside the aircraft," American spokesman Tim Wagner confirms. "I don't know yet if the passenger had been on the plane and was getting off, or was starting to board the aircraft."
One witness recollection indicates the man may not have been in control of his faculties.
"He was frantic, his arms flailing in the air," passenger Mary Gardner remembers.
She saw a woman following the suspect, shouting, "My husband! My husband!" And she heard the woman claim her spouse was bipolar and hadn't taken his medication.
Flight 924 was making only a temporary stop in Miami, before continuing on to Orlando. S.W.A.T. teams stormed and surrounded the jet, but the rest of the airport operations continued as normal.
The pilot and co-pilot followed procedure and locked themselves inside the cockpit during the drama.
The U.S. tightened its rules of engagement after the September 11th attacks, and because there’s no lead time to assess a dangerous situation, sky marshals have been given permission to shoot to kill if necessary.
It's the first time since the rules were brought in that a passenger has been killed by the enforcers.
WHAT DO U GUYS THINK ABOUT THIS???? DO U THINK THE MARSHALS MADE A MISTAKE AND NOW ARE TRYING 2 CAVER IT UP BY SAYING THAT HE SCREEN HE HAD A BOMB????
