Cual es tu consejo sexual??

angelita dulce · Foro Master

RE: Cual es tu consejo sexual??

LGigolo · Comandante

Bainaman wrote:

Chilenita wrote: Bainaman wrote: Chilenita wrote: Can bums get chapped like lips in the cold???????? Ponle vaselina!!!!!! Okay so now it's frozen banana up Confu's butt with vasoline.....now what happens when the banana starts to melt? How do you control that....it's sex (I guess) after all so what do you do when the banana is in confu's butt and starts to melt - lmao You're right! Vaselina might not be such a good idea......Let's use chocolate syrup or whipped cream as the lubricant..... When it melts........HER GUY CAN GIVE HER "EL BESO NEGRO"

Forget the chocolate syrup: I think that’s ALREADY BUILT IN THAT ENTRY HOLE! LMAO…

Bainaman · Foro Master

Chilenita wrote:

Bainaman wrote: Chilenita wrote: Bainaman wrote: Chilenita wrote: Can bums get chapped like lips in the cold???????? Ponle vaselina!!!!!! Okay so now it's frozen banana up Confu's butt with vasoline.....now what happens when the banana starts to melt? How do you control that....it's sex (I guess) after all so what do you do when the banana is in confu's butt and starts to melt - lmao You're right! Vaselina might not be such a good idea......Let's use chocolate syrup or whipped cream as the lubricant..... When it melts........HER GUY CAN GIVE HER "EL BESO NEGRO" you are just FULL of ideas arent you...hummmm

You gotta do what you gotta do .....no?

LGigolo · Comandante

LaDyBuG wrote:

LGIG: this was hilarious....Confu AKA Food Processor OMG hahahahaha Don't forget that she also likes to BITE.....lol Is this thread about food and sex? I think so! LOL Chile are u less confused now??

I am Confused: If she doesn't have teeth on that "mouth" how the heck does she process the banana?

Chilenita · Comandante

Bainaman wrote:

Chilenita wrote: Bainaman wrote: Chilenita wrote: Can bums get chapped like lips in the cold???????? Ponle vaselina!!!!!! Okay so now it's frozen banana up Confu's butt with vasoline.....now what happens when the banana starts to melt? How do you control that....it's sex (I guess) after all so what do you do when the banana is in confu's butt and starts to melt - lmao You're right! Vaselina might not be such a good idea......Let's use chocolate syrup or whipped cream as the lubricant..... When it melts........HER GUY CAN GIVE HER "EL BESO NEGRO"

you are just FULL of ideas arent you...hummmm

Bainaman · Foro Master

Chilenita wrote:

Bainaman wrote: Chilenita wrote: Can bums get chapped like lips in the cold???????? Ponle vaselina!!!!!! Okay so now it's frozen banana up Confu's butt with vasoline.....now what happens when the banana starts to melt? How do you control that....it's sex (I guess) after all so what do you do when the banana is in confu's butt and starts to melt - lmao

You're right! Vaselina might not be such a good idea......Let's use chocolate syrup or whipped cream as the lubricant.....

When it melts........HER GUY CAN GIVE HER "EL BESO NEGRO"

LaDyBuG · Comandante

ok...so obviously it's with NO PEEL....and FROZEN......vaseline and a condom on it would also help I guess.....
but who wants a banana up their toosh......or a wiener...or a cucumber.....or a zuchini.....NASTY......this is not the OLIVE GARDEN people.....lol

Regardless....I like what Pancho said: eeeeeeeeeeeeeee wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww LOL

And LGIG: this was hilarious....Confu AKA Food Processor OMG hahahahaha

Don't forget that she also likes to BITE.....lol

Is this thread about food and sex? I think so!
LOL

Chile are u less confused now??

LGigolo · Comandante

Chilenita wrote:

Bainaman wrote: Chilenita wrote: Can bums get chapped like lips in the cold???????? Ponle vaselina!!!!!! Okay so now it's frozen banana up Confu's butt with vasoline.....now what happens when the banana starts to melt? How do you control that....it's sex (I guess) after all so what do you do when the banana is in confu's butt and starts to melt - lmao

Heck you may as well insert a few ICE cubes to help it keep frozen… lmao! (Mental pic = FROZEN CU-bos de hielo! LMAO)

Chilenita · Comandante

Bainaman wrote:

Chilenita wrote: Can bums get chapped like lips in the cold???????? Ponle vaselina!!!!!!

Okay so now it's frozen banana up Confu's butt with vasoline.....now what happens when the banana starts to melt? How do you control that....it's sex (I guess) after all so what do you do when the banana is in confu's butt and starts to melt - lmao

LGigolo · Comandante

Chilenita wrote:

I am trying to figure it all out.....this may sound strange but I have never had a banana up my bum! I am just thinking would it not be more comfy with peel and like a condom instead of FROZEN....what if your bum gets chapped? Can bums get chapped like lips in the cold????????

I have no clue.. we need to find out from CONFU… lmao… poor confu she’s not even ON, and she’s getting it from behind… lol… with a BANANA even!... CONFUUUUU we need your expertise/experiense input....Where are you??

Bainaman · Foro Master

Chilenita wrote:

Can bums get chapped like lips in the cold????????

Ponle vaselina!!!!!!

Chilenita · Comandante

Bainaman wrote:

Who drinks it?!?!?

Chilenita · Comandante

Bainaman wrote:

Chilenita wrote: LaDyBuG wrote: Chile.....do u need me to get graphic? LOL All im gonna say is....the Banana was frozen for a reason..... imagine if it wasn't...................just imagine how it will all go down................or UP.......LOL OMG I feel like confudida I am sooooooooo confused ONE QUESTION....was the banana peeled?? Is that why he had to freeze it...I thought it was like banana with peel and some sort of latex on top You put it in whole.....and it comes out peeled

LMAO...hahahahahahahahahhaa so baina the peel stays WHERE? In confu's bum????

@LGIG...I am trying to figure it all out.....this may sound strange but I have never had a banana up my bum! I am just thinking would it not be more comfy with peel and like a condom instead of FROZEN....what if your bum gets chapped? Can bums get chapped like lips in the cold????????

Bainaman · Foro Master

LGigolo wrote:

Bainaman wrote: You put it in whole.....and it comes out peeled you mean, Confu AKA Food Processor? LMAO… if you repeat the process several times, sale batido de leche con banana??? LOL

I think she processes it.......the guy puts the 'leche'

Who drinks it?!?!?

LGigolo · Comandante

Bainaman wrote:

You put it in whole.....and it comes out peeled

you mean, Confu AKA Food Processor? LMAO… if you repeat the process several times, sale batido de leche con banana??? LOL

LGigolo · Comandante

Chilenita wrote:

OMG I feel like confudida I am sooooooooo confused ONE QUESTION....was the banana peeled?? Is that why he had to freeze it...I thought it was like banana with peel and some sort of latex on top

@Chienita: You sound like more of an expert on banana’s and it’s proper use… please explain fully how the fack it is supposed to be used… peeled or whole? Frozen or room temperature? Latex or natural? For physical demonstration, we might need CONFU to be here… KONFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Bainaman · Foro Master

Chilenita wrote:

LaDyBuG wrote: Chile.....do u need me to get graphic? LOL All im gonna say is....the Banana was frozen for a reason..... imagine if it wasn't...................just imagine how it will all go down................or UP.......LOL OMG I feel like confudida I am sooooooooo confused ONE QUESTION....was the banana peeled?? Is that why he had to freeze it...I thought it was like banana with peel and some sort of latex on top

You put it in whole.....and it comes out peeled

Chilenita · Comandante

LaDyBuG wrote:

Chile.....do u need me to get graphic? LOL All im gonna say is....the Banana was frozen for a reason..... imagine if it wasn't...................just imagine how it will all go down................or UP.......LOL

OMG I feel like confudida I am sooooooooo confused

ONE QUESTION....was the banana peeled?? Is that why he had to freeze it...I thought it was like banana with peel and some sort of latex on top

LGigolo · Comandante

angelita dulce wrote:

LaDyBuG wrote: Chile.....do u need me to get graphic? LOL All im gonna say is....the Banana was frozen for a reason..... imagine if it wasn't...................just imagine how it will all go down................or UP.......LOL LMAO!!! OK, now today's post are making me piss my pants!!!!

MAYBE… you can just … Stick a BANANA to hole it in! LMAO

angelita dulce · Foro Master

LaDyBuG wrote:

Chile.....do u need me to get graphic? LOL All im gonna say is....the Banana was frozen for a reason..... imagine if it wasn't...................just imagine how it will all go down................or UP.......LOL

LMAO!!! OK, now today's post are making me piss my pants!!!!

Pancho Cachondo · Guru

LaDyBuG wrote:

Chile.....do u need me to get graphic? LOL
All im gonna say is....the Banana was frozen for a reason.....
imagine if it wasn't...................just imagine how it will all go down................or UP.......LOL

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

LaDyBuG · Comandante

Chile.....do u need me to get graphic? LOL
All im gonna say is....the Banana was frozen for a reason.....
imagine if it wasn't...................just imagine how it will all go down................or UP.......LOL

Chilenita · Comandante

Pancho Cachondo wrote:

: You're killing me today Girl...you're on a Roll

seriously though if you were going to attempt to stick a banana up a girls butt would you freeze it first?

Pancho Cachondo · Guru

Chilenita wrote:

LaDyBuG wrote:
Confu's "frozen banana" story would go perfect here.....LOL ohh and the wiener one too.....
BUGGY (that's ur new cute nick), the banana was frozen? It was a FROZEN banana?!?!??!? Now that is strange....I get the banana but FROZEN....burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

You're killing me today Girl...you're on a Roll

Chilenita · Comandante

LaDyBuG wrote:

Confu's "frozen banana" story would go perfect here.....LOL ohh and the wiener one too.....

BUGGY (that's ur new cute nick), the banana was frozen? It was a FROZEN banana?!?!??!? Now that is strange....I get the banana but FROZEN....burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

angelita dulce · Foro Master

LGigolo wrote:

angelita dulce wrote: LGigolo wrote: angelita dulce wrote: miguel wrote: if a girl lets you stick a finger in her bum, that doesn't mean she's going to let you stick something else in her bum. LMAO!!! I was starting to think that your only friend was Presi!!!! From what I hear, Presi (the cat?) is very cute and ALREADY naked! LMAO!!! OH shiat, that was facken hilarious!!! I just bursted out laughing with this one!! Hope no one heard me!!!! I hope you don’t care as much if “anyone heard you” when you are…. Well, you know… doing the deed! LOL

I don't think anyone cares at that moment ........... well u know.......... doing the deed!LMAO!!!

LGigolo · Comandante

angelita dulce wrote:

LGigolo wrote: angelita dulce wrote: miguel wrote: if a girl lets you stick a finger in her bum, that doesn't mean she's going to let you stick something else in her bum. LMAO!!! I was starting to think that your only friend was Presi!!!! From what I hear, Presi (the cat?) is very cute and ALREADY naked! LMAO!!! OH shiat, that was facken hilarious!!! I just bursted out laughing with this one!! Hope no one heard me!!!!

I hope you don’t care as much if “anyone heard you” when you are…. Well, you know… doing the deed! LOL

LaDyBuG · Comandante

Confu's "frozen banana" story would go perfect here.....LOL

ohh and the wiener one too.....

angelita dulce · Foro Master

LGigolo wrote:

angelita dulce wrote: miguel wrote: if a girl lets you stick a finger in her bum, that doesn't mean she's going to let you stick something else in her bum. LMAO!!! I was starting to think that your only friend was Presi!!!! From what I hear, Presi (the cat?) is very cute and ALREADY naked!

LMAO!!! OH shiat, that was facken hilarious!!! I just bursted out laughing with this one!! Hope no one heard me!!!!

LGigolo · Comandante

angelita dulce wrote:

miguel wrote: if a girl lets you stick a finger in her bum, that doesn't mean she's going to let you stick something else in her bum. LMAO!!! I was starting to think that your only friend was Presi!!!!

From what I hear, Presi (the cat?) is very cute and ALREADY naked!

angelita dulce · Foro Master

miguel wrote:

if a girl lets you stick a finger in her bum, that doesn't mean she's going to let you stick something else in her bum.

LMAO!!! I was starting to think that your only friend was Presi!!!!

miguel · TOP Guru

Chilenita wrote:

FINALLY MIGUEL I was starting to get really super duper dissapointed in your posts but you have just made it all better!!!!
This statement is soooo very true I strongly believe in the "anal" talk - lmao

i am trying to keep a low profile

Adnim · Regular Plus

and be sure to begin with your pinky, the bigger snake is coming soon. prep her.

LGigolo · Comandante

miguel wrote:

if a girl lets you stick a finger in her bum, that doesn't mean she's going to let you stick something else in her bum.

ROFLMAO

Another consejo came to mind: be sure to have a latex glove just in case... or use a condom for that! LMAO

Chilenita · Comandante

miguel wrote:

if a girl lets you stick a finger in her bum, that doesn't mean she's going to let you stick something else in her bum.

FINALLY MIGUEL I was starting to get really super duper dissapointed in your posts but you have just made it all better!!!!

This statement is soooo very true I strongly believe in the "anal" talk - lmao

Pancho Cachondo · Guru

miguel wrote:

if a girl lets you stick a finger in her bum, that doesn't mean she's going to let you stick something else in her bum.

Spit my coffee in the monitor..ROFLMA

miguel · TOP Guru

if a girl lets you stick a finger in her bum, that doesn't mean she's going to let you stick something else in her bum.

Adnim · Regular Plus

mi consejo--- arriva! arriva! andale! andale!

ChepeCaster · Regular Plus

no tengo consejo en este asunto, i'm still a virgin

LGigolo · Comandante

1: Keep your partner satisfied in any way you can… Give the ladies LOTS of foreplay, be creative and use your instincts to make it pleasurable for her!

2: Don’t be repetitive and do the same thing every time… Explore new ideas, positions, toys, have sex in a different place / setting… Go wild and do it somewhere risky (public park?)

3: Communicate and try to be very perceptive during sex… watch for your partners’ reaction to see how much pleasure she’s getting and see what is working or not. DO TELL what feels good – don’t by shy: “Yesss, baby… that feels good, keep that up… more of that!”

4: Don’t be silly – protect your willy!

Daeveed · Foro Master

Don't mix monkeys, strawberry jello and vibrators.

Sweetness · Guru

My advise is don't fack everything that walks, because you don't know where he or she has been.

GENIE · Foro Master

angelita dulce wrote:

Pancho Cachondo wrote: GENIE wrote: LA VERGA That's a extremely rude word to be used from a Woman.....just an Advice. OH PLEASE!!! No cat fights in my thread!!!! It's just an inside joke between those two, GENIE is a really nice woman!!!

no mama dont worry HES AN IDIOT THAT TRIES TO COME OFF AS A GENTELMAN! BUT WHATEVER AND I WILL USE THE WORDS I WANT AND I KNOW ITS AN INSIDE JOKE BETWEEN US FORO MEMBERS THAT ATTEND OUTTINGS!!! SO KE DIGA LO KE SE LE ANTOJE! MOST OF U KNOW ME SO I DONT GIVE A RATS ASS

McOSIRIS · Comandante

chica wow wrote:

I like how you mom thinks...but I still think they go somewhere else...man are never happy...

Men are always happy if women keep us that way....(you girls know how to do it)

chica wow · Guru

angelita dulce wrote:

Chilenita wrote: 1. Be a little freaky....nobody likes a boring dead fack......dama en la sala...PUTA en la cama!!!! 2. make noise....moan...talk 3. be different....dont always do rabbit thumping action....mix it up.....use toys... those are my top three.....romance is nice once in a blue as well but mostley like raw animal sex!!!! Thank you.... LOL!!! That's what my mom tells me!! Always pleasure your man, so he doesn't go anywhere else for it!!!

I like how you mom thinks...but I still think they go somewhere else...man are never happy...

angelita dulce · Foro Master

Pancho Cachondo wrote:

GENIE wrote: LA VERGA That's a extremely rude word to be used from a Woman.....just an Advice.

OH PLEASE!!! No cat fights in my thread!!!! It's just an inside joke between those two, GENIE is a really nice woman!!!

McOSIRIS · Comandante

I try to keep da "mistique" factor...always works

angelita dulce · Foro Master

Chilenita wrote:

1. Be a little freaky....nobody likes a boring dead fack......dama en la sala...PUTA en la cama!!!! 2. make noise....moan...talk 3. be different....dont always do rabbit thumping action....mix it up.....use toys... those are my top three.....romance is nice once in a blue as well but mostley like raw animal sex!!!! Thank you....

LOL!!! That's what my mom tells me!! Always pleasure your man, so he doesn't go anywhere else for it!!!

Pancho Cachondo · Guru

GENIE wrote:

LA VERGA

That's a extremely rude word to be used from a Woman.....just an Advice.

Chilenita · Comandante

1. Be a little freaky....nobody likes a boring dead fack......dama en la sala...PUTA en la cama!!!!

2. make noise....moan...talk

3. be different....dont always do rabbit thumping action....mix it up.....use toys...

those are my top three.....romance is nice once in a blue as well but mostley like raw animal sex!!!!

Thank you....