Male vs. Female > As per a good friend of mine. > >If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will >call >each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. > >If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to >each >other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. > > > >EATING OUT > >When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw a $20, >even thought it's only for $12.50. None of them will have anything smaller >and none will actually admit they want chang! e back. > >When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. > > > >MONEY > >A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.. > > >A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on >sale. > > > >BATHROOMS > >A man has 5 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,a >bar >of soap and a towel from the Marriott. > > >The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A >man would not be able to identify most of these items. > > > >ARGUMENTS > >A woman has the last word in any argument. > > >Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. > > > >FUTURE > >A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. > > >A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. > > > >SUCCESS > >A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. > > >A successful woman is one who can find such a man. > > > >MARRIAGE (Too true to be considered humorous) > >A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. > > >A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. > > > >DRESSING UP > >A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the >garbage, >answer the phone, read a book and get the mail. > > >A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. > > > >NATURAL > >Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed (or so they think) > > >Women somehow deteriorate during the night. > > > >OFFSPRING -- Ah children > >A woman knows all about her children She knows about dentist >appointments, >romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret, fears and hopes and dreams. > > >A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. > > > >THOUGHT FOR THE DAY... > >Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two >people >remembering the same thing. > > > >AND FINALLY.... > > >A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a >word. >An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to >concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jackasses and >pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" > > >"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws." The fight is now officially on. THIS MADE ME CRACK UP!!!!
>>would > you >>> please >>> edit out >>> all these >>> damn signs ">>>>>" LMAO
Men are smarter, as we can see...
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Not everything I post or say on foro are necesarily true facts. <- THAT is a fact! :blankstare:
> >If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will >call >each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. > >If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to >each >other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. > > > >EATING OUT > >When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw a $20, >even thought it's only for $12.50. None of them will have anything smaller >and none will actually admit they want chang! e back. > >When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. > > > >MONEY > >A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.. > > >A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on >sale. > > > >BATHROOMS > >A man has 5 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,a
>bar >of soap and a towel from the Marriott. > > >The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A >man would not be able to identify most of these items. > > > >ARGUMENTS > >A woman has the last word in any argument. > > >Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. > > > >FUTURE > >A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. > > >A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. > > > >SUCCESS > >A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. > > >A successful woman is one who can find such a man. > > > >MARRIAGE (Too true to be considered humorous) > >A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. > > >A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. > > > >DRESSING UP > >A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the >garbage, >answer the phone, read a book and get the mail. > > >A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. > > > >NATURAL > >Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed (or so they think) > > >Women somehow deteriorate during the night. > > > >OFFSPRING -- Ah children > >A woman knows all about her children She knows about dentist >appointments, >romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret, fears and hopes and dreams. > > >A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. > > > >THOUGHT FOR THE DAY... > >Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two >people >remembering the same thing. > > > >AND FINALLY.... > > >A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a >word. >An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to >concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jackasses and >pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" > > >"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws." The fight is now officially on.
THIS MADE ME CRACK UP!!!!
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I DONT CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, IM A PROUD MEMBER OF THE S.L.U.T CAMPAIGN
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