Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business, and one of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, I just burped."
GOODIE
A little boy is sitting in the barber's chair and becoming anxious, so the barber gives him a tootsie roll to keep him quiet. As the barber trims his bangs, loose hair falls over his face. "Do you have hair on your goodie?" asks the barber. "Don't be silly, you old pervert! I'm only eight years old!"
NEW NEIGHBOR
Neighbor 1: "Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a nice day to be moving" New Neighbor: "Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely friendly" Neighbor 1: "So what is it you do for a living?" New Neighbor: "I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive reasoning" Neighbor 1: "Deductive reasoning, what is that?" New Neighbor: "Let me give you and example. I see you have a dog house out back. By that I deduce that you have a dog." Neighbor 1: "That is right" New Neighbor: "The fact that you have a dog, Leads me to deduce that you have a family." Neighbor 1: "Right again" New Neighbor: "Since you have a family I deduce that you have a wife" Neighbor 1: "Correct" New Neighbor: "And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are heterosexual" Neighbor 1: "Yup" New Neighbor: "That is deductive reasoning" Neighbor 1: "Cool"
Later that same day...
Neighbor 1: "Hey, I was talking to that new guy who moved in next door" Neighbor 2: "Is he a nice guy?" Neighbor 1: "Yes, and he has an interesting job" Neighbor 2: "Oh, yeah what does he do?" Neighbor 1: "He is a professor of deductive reasoning at the University" Neighbor 2: "Deductive reasoning, what is that" Neighbor 1: "Let me give you an example. Do you have a dog house?" Neighbor 2: "No" Neighbor 1: "Fag."
