The Guys' Rules
>
>At last a guy has taken the
>time to write this all down.
>
>Finally, the guys' side of the story.
>(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>
>We always hear"the rules"
>from the female side.
>
>Now here are the rules from the male side.
>These are our rules!
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>Please note...
>these are all numbered "1"
>ON PURPOSE!
>
>1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>We need it up, you need it down.
>You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
>1. Sunday sports.
>It's like the full moon
>or the changing of the tides.
>Let it be.
>
>1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
>1. Crying is blackmail.
>
>1. Ask for what you want.
>Let us be clear on this one:
>Subtle hints do not work!
>Strong hints do not work!
>Obvious hints do not work!
>Just say it!
>
>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
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>
>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
>That's what we do.
>Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
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>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
>See a doctor.
>
>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>In fact, all comments become
>null and void after7 days.
>
>1. If you won't dress like the
>Victoria's Secret girls,
>don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>
>
>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>Don 't ask us.
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>
>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
>and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
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>1. You can either ask us to do something
>or tell us how you want it done.
>Not both.
>If you already know best how to do it,
>just do it yourself.
>
>
>1. Whenever possible,
>please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
>
>
>1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
>
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>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>Peach, for example,
>is a fruit, not a color.
>Pumpkin is also a fruit.
>We have no idea what mauve is.
>
>1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>We do that.
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>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
>we will act like nothing's wrong.
>We know you are lying,
>but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
>
>1. If you ask a question you don't
>want an answer to,
>expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>
>
>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
>is fine...Really.
>
>
>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
>prepared to discuss such topics as
>baseball, the shotgun formation,
>or monster trucks.
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>1. You have enough clothes.
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>1. You have too many shoes.
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>1. I am in shape.
>Round is a shape.
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>1. Thank you for reading this.
>Yes, I know,
>I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>but did you know men really don't mind that?
>It's like camping.