Latinas Can Shop!

I was reading someone else’s blog today and it said, —"Damn now I realize why I never have any money. I just spent $300 on clothes." I grew up with 3 sisters and no brothers and I still can’t understand how you women can spend that much cash on clothes! Especially Latinas. Latinas have to have everything in the ****ing store! Or at least a complete outfit from head to toe! The shirt and pants must match the shoes and earrings and even your makeup. If shopping was an Olympic sport, you women would take the gold! I don’t know how you can go to the mall all day and just shop, maybe stopping for a pretzel or a plate at Panda Express but then go back at it when your done. You girls can shop for hours! That kills us men. See, us men just go to the store, get what we need then run the **** out. I’m not going to hang around like you girls do. Trying on everything in the store then buy one thing, no, I know what I’m getting then I am running out.

See women always need to have their "outfit." Men don’t have outfits! We have shirts and pants! Maybe some socks that match, but that’s it! And why do women believe that every outfit has to be accessorized? As for shoes…oh man don’t even bring up shoes! Guys try asking your girl why she has 87 pairs of black shoes? She will look at you like your retarded and speak slowly to explain to you, —"They aren’t the same color menso! If you look you would see that they are different shades of black!" WHAT? BLACK IS BLACK! There are no shades of black! I think that’s called GREY! ¿Que no? But try explaining that to her. —“No their not, look when the light hits it like this it looks like a dull black!” Whatever!

But you know what guys, here is the big secret I learned growing up with sisters. Women are NOT dressing up for us! No. They are dressing up to impress other women. Women never get tired of analyzing other women! Always checking what they are wearing, and what their body’s look like! —"Ay… girl with your butt you can wear that. Try it on. Ijole, look at your butt. It’s so cute. My butt’s to big. I could never wear that!" That’s when they are with friends shooping together, but when they are at the club or a quinceañera, they analyz everyone else and talking mad ****!

—“Oh my god, look at that girl wearing the half shirt, her ****ing lonjas are falling out…looks like she’s melting. Damn girl look at that one on the dance floor, that guy she’s dancing with must love Jell-O cause she jiggles like it.”

“Or how about that chick with that hat and glasses, who wears shades and a hat in-doors…estuuuuuuupid!”

"Thats nothing, look at that chick with the camel toe, if it goes any higher she is going to be cut in half ay..."

You will never hear two men having those conversation, "Oh, man, Jose looks fat in those jeans!" Dang! File that under NEVER!

The other place women love to shop is Victoria’s Secret! This is the only place I don’t mind waiting for my girl to try something on. Cause its worth the wait, now if we where at Mervyn’s I would die! Have you ever seen men waiting for their girls on those chairs outside the woman’s dressing room at Mervyns? They look drained, about to pass out, pissed off, and inpatient all in one. That should be a punishment that judge can give in court, —“I sentence you to 3 months on the womans dressing room chair!”

Anyway, Victoria Secret is expensive! VICTORIA SECRET IS A RIP OFF! How is your underwear going to cost more than the clothes you put on the outside! WHY? (and why is it called Victorias Secret? Your showing everything VICTORIA! IT AIN'T NO SECRET!) Anyway, men don’t care that much about your underwear! Who told you that we did? Shit! Once you start taking off the clothes, we don’t care if you have holes in your underwear, if it is mismatched, or even turned inside out. DO YOU REALLY THINK WE ARE GOING TO SAY "Oh, that there is some nice underwear. No, keep it on for a while. Is that a matching set? Don’t take it off, let me sit here and watch it for a while!" Women need to match everything, "I lost my red bra, I’ve got to get a whole new set now." Why? Just where the green bra with red! We will think Christmas came early this year!