I hate when girls get their seasons mixed up too early, it's a bad case of premeture ejac man! (well almost)
My theory is: if i still have to wear a light jacket in the morning, it's too cold for tank tops, flip flops, or capris.
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The opinions expressed by this poster can be offensive and are mainly directed at Dogo. Delta gamma b i t c h-orama. Copyright 2008 All rights reserved.
Pfft, Miss Mj, quien no tiene esas cosas?! quien? Who cares girlie, you're gorgeous Dah-ling!
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The opinions expressed by this poster can be offensive and are mainly directed at Dogo. Delta gamma b i t c h-orama. Copyright 2008 All rights reserved.
So what are the haters saying about your style? I can honestly say that i am guilty without parole in some, and i'm not SORRY!
Ass cleavage Achieved by wearing pants too low.
BASS The ass is so flat, the back merges into ass.
Bingo wings The flabby underarm skin/fat that some women have.
Bye-bye arms See "bingo wings."
Camel toe When pants are tight enough to expose, uh, lady parts.
Cottage cheese bum People who shouldnt be wearing LuLu Lemon.
Double boobs When the breasts are so large and the bra so ill-fitting that you have two sets of breasts either spilling out the top or seeping out the bottom of the bra.
ENS Erect Nipple Syndrome
Kankles Where knee meets foot, with no discernable ankle.
High beams See "ENS."
Mom jeans Jeans that are high waisted (the waist may well be elastic) and tapered.
Muffin top The bit of fat that hangs over the top of jeans.
Party hats See "ENS."
Sausage casing Fleshy bodies stuffed into tiny tops and skintight pants.
Senior citizen foot Sandals with socks.
Sleavage Sleazy cleavage; ie. when the sides of your boobs spill out.
SOFA Sweater Over Fat Ass
Swoob/swass Sweat marks on your chest or bum.
Summer teeth Sum'r here, sum're there.
Tiger stripe A stretch mark.
Turtle skirt A skirt so short that bending over could expose the snapper.
VPL Visible Panty Line
Whale tail Low jeans and a high thong.
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The opinions expressed by this poster can be offensive and are mainly directed at Dogo. Delta gamma b i t c h-orama. Copyright 2008 All rights reserved.
I agree with all BUT 3 and 10. Why? B/c I do those
# 3. Bra straps underneath tank tops look really good... IF you wear them with the correct colour combination and correct bra straps. The bra straps cannot be the hugemongously thick ones that your abuela probably wears, and they also cannot be thick AND white... that just looks nasty. Choose a cute colour, be it pink, red, blue, etc... and combine that with a tank top and it looks super cute.
As for # 10. SHUDDUP! I LOVE the onesies. You pair up a onesie jean jumpsuit with a pair of high strappy heels and youve got yourself a bomb outfit. Or even if you wanna go the casual route and do the 'JHo" look with the terricloth shorts and tank... pair it up with the right shoes and you're good to go for a stroll in the park etc.
While most of us dread the return of high-waisted jeans, its a relief to see the decline of jeans cut so low you need to pay a special visit to your salon for an intrusive wax job. The jeans may have originated in Brazil but any apparel beyond bathing suits, requiring a Brazilian should be outlawed.
2. Visible G-strings
They go hand in hand with low-cut jeans and sometimes even feature rhinestones or bows on the back but it doesnt matter how much you dress them up, underwear is underwear and it is so named because it goes under your clothes.
3. Bra straps
Similar to the g-string faux pas, visible bra straps are tacky. Either buy a strapless bra or wear t-shirts. No one wants to see your used-to-be-white straps ruining the lines of a sophisticated tank top the bedazzled versions arent much better.
4. Crop tops
Okay, so you have a navel ring. You may even have nice abs but no one but pervy guys want to see your belly. If you must expose abdomen, please dont combine your mini top with Brazilian jeans!
5. Tiaras
Unless youre an actual monarch attending a royal function like a knighting or diplomatic reception not a table-dancing hotel heiress at an L.A. hotspot a tiara is not only totally unnecessary, its tacky. You are not a princess and unless you marry a prince or king (pretend Roman royalty like Prince Borghese dont count), save the crown for Halloween.
6. Oversized pants
The male version of the low-cut jeans, boxers are almost always visible, as is half the guys ass. If you have to hold onto the front of your pants to keep them up, buy a belt or start shopping for clothes in your size.
7. Skirts over pants
Choose one ensemble please. While todays tunics and leggings cause confusion when it comes to dresses over pants, there is no excuse for wearing two items meant for your lower half. It is neither a flattering look nor is it very practical unless you are a bag lady and must wear all the clothes you own at once.
8. Ties and tank tops
We can all thank Avril Lavigne for introducing tweens everywhere to a look that British punks established two decades ago. It really is a look that should be left to skinny guys in plaid pants and a Mohawk.
9. Rhinestone tattoos
Tattoos and formal wear generally dont go together. While crystals are perfectly acceptable formal attire, crystals glued to your skin are a little more exotic dancing than ballroom.
10. Onesies
At some point in the last few years, pop starlets and semi-celebrities decided that the warm weather follow-up to the velour tracksuit is the terry cloth onesie. The shorts and tube top combo isnt the classiest look to begin with, so connecting the two into one garment takes the look into trailer park territory.
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The opinions expressed by this poster can be offensive and are mainly directed at Dogo. Delta gamma b i t c h-orama. Copyright 2008 All rights reserved.