Bad kissers: Who hasn't had at least one?by Sarah Stefanson, TheSoko.com
The importance of the first kiss cannot be overemphasized. Many women actually decide how far they're willing to take things with a guy based on that first glimpse of their sensuality.
Sometimes, re-training is just not worth the effort, but every once in a while, you come across a guy who shows enough potential to warrant a second go. In order to know what steps to take to improve your new boy's kissing skills, you must first identify what type of bad kisser he is.
The Tonsil Hockey Kisser
This is the guy that learned to kiss in junior high and hasn't added any new tricks to his repertoire since. His major goal is to get his tongue as far down your throat as he possibly can.
While there is a place for deep soul kisses, the first kiss is not it. Unfortunately, he may think that this method is the only way he can express his enthusiasm and passion. What he needs to learn is that a slow build is often the sexiest course of action.
The Happy Puppy
This kisser uses too much tongue too, but instead of exploring the inside of your esophagus he prefers to treat your entire face like a giant lollipop. His ardor usually matches that of his namesake, the happy puppy, who jumps in your lap to slather his wet tongue all over your face.
The Oral Explorer
Another tongue-movement-challenged individual, this guy uses his to swiftly penetrate your lips and investigate your oral cavity like an overexcited surveyor. There is nothing slow or sensual about the way he kisses.
After pulling away from having his tongue darting in and out of your mouth, you're likely to feel more violated than fulfilled.
The Pressure is Better Kisser
This misguided kisser thinks that his passion is translated directly by how hard he grinds his face into yours. This is particularly disconcerting when his five o'clock shadow feels like sandpaper against your delicate cheek.
The Fish Out of Water Kisser
The problem with this kisser is that he can't seem to ever close his mouth.
When you open your eyes mid-kiss, all you can see is his wide open maw like a fish gasping for air. Not the sexiest image you could hope for.
The Lifeless Kisser
Our last troubled kisser has a rather different problem from the others. He lacks enthusiasm while the rest have plenty to spare. Either he keeps his mouth closed at all times or when it is open his tongue lies comatose and motionless. It's not hard to see how this particular technique could get old real quick.
So, if you're current kisser matches any of the above, a little advice:
What To Do First
Evaluate whether he's worth the time and trouble it will take to tutor him in the ways of kissing. Granted you've only known him a short time, but usually it's pretty easy to get a feeling one way or the other.
If you decide he merits re-education, there are several factors to consider before deciding on a course of action. His age, experience level, sensitivity to criticism and attitude toward sexuality in general are going to affect how he will take your suggestions.
Be Sensitive
Nobody likes to be told they could use some improvement, especially when it comes to something as intimate as kissing. So it's essential that you approach the issue with care.
Do not make fun of his kissing or try to shame him into trying something new.
I Really Love It When...
The best way to get a guy to do what you want is to tell him what you want. Seems simple, but unfortunately the hardest thing for most people to do when things get physical is to honestly tell the other person what they like.
So instead of starting off with what he's doing wrong, try "I really love it when..." and fill in the blank with, "You touch your lips really softly to mine," or, "You give me sweet little kisses," or, "You run your tongue along my lips."
Show, Don't Tell
If words aren't having the desired result, practice what you preach. If you like soft, slow kisses, give him soft, slow kisses. If you like to use more tongue than he's shown, make a habit of tracing yours along his zipped lips.
_______________________ bite the bullet
If he's not taking the hint, you may have to eventually just tell him point blank what you'd like him to change. Make sure you preface it with how much you enjoy spending time with him and how sexy you think he is. Then say, "I'm just having one small problem with the way you kiss." This way he doesn't feel like you're telling him he's the world's worst kisser.
Expect him to bristle at the comment and realize that his feelings might be hurt. Make it up to him by showing and telling him what you'd like to change so that the combination of his lips on yours will knock both of your socks off.