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Post Info TOPIC: Things NOT To Say During Sex
LGigolo


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RE: Things NOT To Say During Sex
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101 Things Not To Say During Sex

1. But everybody looks funny naked!

2. You woke me up for that?

3. Did I mention the video camera?

4. Do you smell something burning?

5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...

6. Try breathing through your nose

7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!

8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?

9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

10. But whipped cream makes me break out

11. Person 1: This is your first time... right?
Person 2: Yeah... today

12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!

13. Can you please pass me the remote control?

14. Do you accept Visa?

15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!

18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.

19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?

20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!

22. Do you get any premium movie channels?

23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!

24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!

25. Got any penicillin?

26. But I just brushed my teeth...

27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!

28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

29. I want a baby!

30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?

32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...

33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?

34. I think you have it on backwards

35. When is this supposed to feel good?

36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!

37. You're good enough to do this for a living!

38. Is that blood on the headboard?

39. Did I remember to take my pill?

40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?

41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...

42. That leak better be from the waterbed!

43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!

44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow

45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?

46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance...

47. No, really... I do this part better myself!

48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!

49. This would be more fun with a few more people..

50. You're almost as good as my ex!

51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?

52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?

53. You look younger than you feel

54. Perhaps you're just out of practice

55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!

56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash

57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...

58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?

59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated

60. What tampon?

61. Have you ever considered liposuction?

62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!

63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?

64. I have a confession...

65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!

66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?

67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?

68. Is that a hanging sculpture?

69. You'll stil vote for me, won't you?

70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?

71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!

72. Did you come yet, dear?

73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...

74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!

75. Does this count as a date?

76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!

77. Hic! I need another beer for this please

78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?

79. You can cook, too right?

80. When would you like to meet my parents?

81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like...
Woman: Yourself?

82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?

83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names

84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed

85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?

86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?

87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.

88. Sorry but I don't do toes!

89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!

90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!

91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...

92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer"

93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash!

94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!

95. Is this a sin too?

96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!

97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?

98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...

99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...

100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?

101. You mean you're NOT my blind date?



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LGigolo


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X4v13r wrote:

was much better than this!!! giggle.gif



TONIGHT AT VIDA!!!!

~X


What's with you, Drago... suddenly you're turning into a promoter? giggle.gif

 



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Motown Junkie


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X4v13r wrote:

was much better than this!!! giggle.gif



TONIGHT AT VIDA!!!!

~X



I have a GREAT picture for that comment!!!  devilish.gif



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X4v13r


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was much better than this!!! giggle.gif



TONIGHT AT VIDA!!!!

~X

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Jaime Cruz wrote:

*Have you ever considered Liposuction??? hmm.gif



omg.gif  rofl.gif and at MM's PS3 comment!!!!  giggle.gif



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LGigolo


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"Vete RAPIDO que el sono el garage y debe ser mi esposo/a"

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luna chiquitita


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poli069 wrote:

me queres hacer "kaka" en el pecho..y escribirme "TE QUIERO"....

um ew...

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poli069


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me queres hacer "kaka" en el pecho..y escribirme "TE QUIERO"....

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Marky Mark


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"Just how long IS this line for the PS3?"



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Jaime Cruz


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*"These plastic surgeons are great!!! Don't I look like a real woman?"


 


 



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luna chiquitita


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Marky Mark wrote:

It's ok, I think he and MCO are going to see Birdcage.

I think they're weird.

Not that there is anything wrong with that...

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Marky Mark


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luna chiquitita wrote:

Marky Mark wrote:


luna chiquitita wrote:


"Do you have READING RAILROAD?"




What r u trying to do? Get us both in trouble?





LMAO   I'm sorry.. i wouldn't want Dogo thinking there was something going on...


It's ok, I think he and MCO are going to see Birdcage.

I think they're weird.

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luna chiquitita


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Marky Mark wrote:


luna chiquitita wrote:


"Do you have READING RAILROAD?"




What r u trying to do? Get us both in trouble?





LMAO   I'm sorry.. i wouldn't want Dogo thinking there was something going on...

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Marky Mark


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luna chiquitita wrote:

"Do you have READING RAILROAD?"


What r u trying to do? Get us both in trouble?





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luna chiquitita


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"Do you have READING RAILROAD?"

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Marky Mark


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"Could you repeat that? I want to post it in the 'Things NOT to Say During Sex' thread"



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LGigolo


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GITANA wrote:


LGigolo wrote:


"Yesss, yesss, yessssss YYYEEEEEESSSSSSSSS Julie", while you're actually with Gitana!


 



LMAO!!!


Sorry about that – but… I promise to yell YOUR name next time!



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Jaime Cruz


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*"I really hate women who actually think sex means something! "

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GITANA


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LGigolo wrote:


"Yesss, yesss, yessssss YYYEEEEEESSSSSSSSS Julie", while you're actually with Gitana!


 


LMAO!!!

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LGigolo


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"Yesss, yesss, yessssss YYYEEEEEESSSSSSSSS Julie", while you're actually with Gitana!


 


 


 




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GITANA


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FANTITO wrote:

 Le dice la muchacha al novio....Huy! Esto que estamos haciendo no tiene nombre.  Y el tipo le contesta: !Ni apellido mamacita! ...porque yo mañana me voy



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Jaime Cruz


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*Someone just sent me a PM

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Jaime Cruz


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*A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time.


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El Duro


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@JC



is it just me or is that your mom taping us


 



-- Edited by El Duro at 16:09, 2006-11-14

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LGigolo


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OOOOOPPPSSIEE… The condom fell inside!!!



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McOSIRIS


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* grandma knitted this condom...isn't it cute???


-- Edited by McOSIRIS at 14:22, 2006-11-14

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FANTITO


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 Le dice la muchacha al novio....Huy! Esto que estamos haciendo no tiene nombre.  Y el tipo le contesta: !Ni apellido mamacita! ...porque yo mañana me voy

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LGigolo


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The condom broke!



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Jaime Cruz


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luna chiquitita wrote:


Jaime Cruz wrote:


luna chiquitita wrote:

I'm trying to get pregnant so you'll be forced to marry me

When you do get pregnant and your parents start looking for me tell them to look for Jaime Cruz





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luna chiquitita


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Jaime Cruz wrote:


luna chiquitita wrote:

I'm trying to get pregnant so you'll be forced to marry me

When you do get pregnant and your parents start looking for me tell them to look for Jaime Cruz



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McOSIRIS


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* Your operating system is not compatible with my hardware....


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Jaime Cruz


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luna chiquitita wrote:

I'm trying to get pregnant so you'll be forced to marry me

When you do get pregnant and your parents start looking for me tell them to look for Jaime Cruz

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Jaime Cruz


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luna chiquitita wrote:

I'm trying to get pregnant so you'll be forced to marry me



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luna chiquitita


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I'm trying to get pregnant so you'll be forced to marry me

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Jaime Cruz


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*Just use your finger, its bigger.

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McOSIRIS


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* can I insert my low capacity memory card in your slot????  


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Roses are red violets are korny, when I think of you Ohh baby I get horny...
Jaime Cruz


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*Have you ever considered Liposuction???

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LGigolo


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Sex with you is even less fun than sex on my own!



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Jaime Cruz


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*Your best-friend does it much better.

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Jaime Cruz


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McOSIRIS wrote:


*the customer ur trying to reach is not available...please try again later....




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McOSIRIS


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*the customer ur trying to reach is not available...please try again later....


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Roses are red violets are korny, when I think of you Ohh baby I get horny...
Jaime Cruz


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*Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.

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Jaime Cruz


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*Now I know why he/she dumped you...

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McOSIRIS


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* put a cork in it for fak sakes!!!


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Roses are red violets are korny, when I think of you Ohh baby I get horny...
Jaime Cruz


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And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!

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X4v13r


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- sorry about that, I always get the 2 holes comfused.


X@vier


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PRECIOSA


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"PASS ME A TISSUE...I HAVE TO BLOW MY NOSE..."


"COVER YOUR MOUTH YOUR BREATH'S DEADLY..."


"MINES BIGGER THEN YOURS..."


 



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Marky Mark


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Ok, commercial's over.




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El Duro


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I didn't mean to get u in the eye


@Confu




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Jaime Cruz


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"My water broke!!!!" swoon

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