Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover after the night of his
office party. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first
thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on
the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! 

Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect
order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the
aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him
in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table, "Breakfast
is on the stove, I left early to go shopping -- Love you, Jill"

He stumbles to the kitchen, and sure enough, there is hot breakfast
and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "Son ... . . what happened last night?" Jack's son
answers, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and out of your
mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that
black eye when you ran into the door!" 

Jack says, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean?
Why a red rose, and breakfast on the table waiting for me?" His son
replies, "Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to
take your pants off, you screamed, "'Leave me alone,lady, I'm
married!'"

Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot breakfast - $4.20
Red rose bud - $3.00
Two aspirins -$0.38