Those of you (if you dont have one hypothetically speaking) who have a +1 do you consider them your best friend?
I would suggest against this... simply b/c once the relationship is over, you've not only broken the ties of that relationship, you've also (most often than not) cut the friendship ties as well.
And besides, when you've got juicy b/f or g/f gossip you cant go to your partner, you need your best friends to spill the dirt to
I looked up the word friend for you, if it doesn't fit in the context of what you are seeking in your life or the world in general get over it quick and move on. Ask yourself, do you really want to spend your energy figuring it out?? person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement:-- Edited by Truthseeker at 12:01, 2006-05-18
I dont think a friend can be DEFINED book style...I think its really has to do without our views that come from life experiences and to me thats how one defines a friend...
I looked up the word friend for you, if it doesn't fit in the context of what you are seeking in your life or the world in general get over it quick and move on. Ask yourself, do you really want to spend your energy figuring it out??
person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement:
Nope! Pushing people to open up is a bad idea....especially when pulling teeth....people talk when they are ready.....sometimes asking once or twice is enough.....If your partner doesn't wanna confide in you one time out of 10....respect that.....give people space..... Unless your partner has the nosey Scorpio syndrome then be ready for an avalanche of Q's. lol
I agree..with this..no need to pressure...but sure..if they dont want to talk...thats fine...but if their natural reaction is to run to someone else? of course that should tell you something...
Jade wrote: then if it IS a problem about the other partner THEN yeah you go to your friends..but if it has to do with financial and well mostly everyday stuff..then why would it be bad to share it with you +1??? I dont agree... If it's money issues....MEN don't open up easily.....it's a pride thing and we have to respect it.....it's like asking a man how much he makes.....some topics are best left un-answered.
I dont think so...if youve been together for a year and your are saying the three little magic words every day to each other ..and you already know his financial woes, generally...because youve been helping him ($wise) and he cant confide in you?!?! it doesnt make sense...a relationship to me..is two people..beign friends first and foremost..trusting eachother being each other support through the good and the bad.....I would feel very heart broken if I have invested my time money and heart with someone who doesnt consider me worthy of to be a friend...I would want to be in a relationship because I mean something not just to be -- gf "the accessory"....
LaDyBuG wrote: Nope! Pushing people to open up is a bad idea....especially when pulling teeth....people talk when they are ready.....sometimes asking once or twice is enough.....If your partner doesn't wanna confide in you one time out of 10....respect that.....give people space..... Unless your partner has the nosey Scorpio syndrome then be ready for an avalanche of Q's. lol
Yep!
I'm as nosey as they come!!!!
__________________
"Most of us fall short much more by omission than by commission."
LaDyBuG wrote: Depends on the subject.....some stuff you can tell your BF or GF but what if the problem IS your partner... then what? If someone tells you "you're not enough of a friend to confide in their problems" (after 1 year of dating AND being friends) then that's a TRUST issue.....plain and simple. Sometimes it's also good to respect the other person's decision NOT to confide in you..... then if it IS a problem about the other partner THEN yeah you go to your friends..but if it has to do with financial and well mostly everyday stuff..then why would it be bad to share it with you +1??? I dont agree...
.....some people are private people and don't just need to talk about everything like other people do....there's no NEED to share todo! .....
When people need advice they seek it....plain and simple....urging to know about their situation and bugging them about it....it's only gonna make them distance themselves more.....it's showing a chismosa side....lol
You need to KNOW your partner to know how to act and react at times.....don't assume and don't expect....you're gonna end up losing.
__________________
"To be a good Promoter you must have the heart of a Gambler and the mind of a Computer"
Jade wrote: then if it IS a problem about the other partner THEN yeah you go to your friends..but if it has to do with financial and well mostly everyday stuff..then why would it be bad to share it with you +1??? I dont agree... If it's money issues....MEN don't open up easily.....it's a pride thing and we have to respect it.....it's like asking a man how much he makes.....some topics are best left un-answered.
being asked THAT, SPECIALLY EARLY IN THE RELATIONSHIP makes it seem like the girl interested in his income than anything... NOT a good thing.
__________________
Not everything I post or say on foro are necesarily true facts. <- THAT is a fact! :blankstare:
LaDyBuG wrote: Sometimes it's also good to respect the other person's decision NOT to confide in you..... Isn't that the same as the trust issue???
Nope!
Pushing people to open up is a bad idea....especially when pulling teeth....people talk when they are ready.....sometimes asking once or twice is enough.....If your partner doesn't wanna confide in you one time out of 10....respect that.....give people space.....
Unless your partner has the nosey Scorpio syndrome then be ready for an avalanche of Q's. lol
__________________
"To be a good Promoter you must have the heart of a Gambler and the mind of a Computer"
Jade wrote: Friendship & Relationships ahhh here goes another of my questions..see if you guys can give me ure 2 cents..Who of you, believe that a relationship is based on a friendship? Those of you (if you dont have one hypothetically speaking) who have a +1 do you consider them your best friend? Have you ever been in a situation where the +1 didnt really treat you as a friend and when they had problems (personal) they would go to their friends and didnt come to you? What if you were told that they go to their friends because they have a longer time of being friends with them, then having known you (youve been dating for one year) ? how bad is that? Some people I know have told me that a friendship and a relationship should not mix. I disagree, thats what makes the relationship have substance, otherwise whats the point of a relationship? -- Edited by Jade at 09:11, 2006-05-18 me....
then if it IS a problem about the other partner THEN yeah you go to your friends..but if it has to do with financial and well mostly everyday stuff..then why would it be bad to share it with you +1??? I dont agree...
If it's money issues....MEN don't open up easily.....it's a pride thing and we have to respect it.....it's like asking a man how much he makes.....some topics are best left un-answered.
__________________
"To be a good Promoter you must have the heart of a Gambler and the mind of a Computer"
Depends on the subject.....some stuff you can tell your BF or GF but what if the problem IS your partner... then what? If someone tells you "you're not enough of a friend to confide in their problems" (after 1 year of dating AND being friends) then that's a TRUST issue.....plain and simple. Sometimes it's also good to respect the other person's decision NOT to confide in you.....
then if it IS a problem about the other partner THEN yeah you go to your friends..but if it has to do with financial and well mostly everyday stuff..then why would it be bad to share it with you +1??? I dont agree...
So your saying it depends on the deepness of the relationship..... Well if youve been with that person for a year and seeing each other regularly and the one time they have problems they cant come to you..that just doesnt seem right. I mean you cant push a person to tell you their problems...even if your bf or gf..you do that with friends too..but if their first reaction when they have a downfall is to go to their friends...instead of you, (which by the way you have helped imensily with tangible stuff) & cant share their trials and tribulations...I think thats just kinda crappy! Id have to ask myself...the wtf am I here for then? and to be told that you (after having dated for ayear) are not well known enough to be a a friend to tell their things to? how would you feel?
Depends on the subject.....some stuff you can tell your BF or GF but what if the problem IS your partner... then what?
If someone tells you "you're not enough of a friend to confide in their problems" (after 1 year of dating AND being friends) then that's a TRUST issue.....plain and simple.
Sometimes it's also good to respect the other person's decision NOT to confide in you.....
__________________
"To be a good Promoter you must have the heart of a Gambler and the mind of a Computer"
If you spend your every day with this person and make moves with this person's consent or advise.....and tell your person about your everyday life (talking daily).....it's kinda hard NOT to be friends....it's inevitable.....beuase you're bound to also have arguments and disagree on stuff as friends..... BUT...there are other relationships where the couple only see and talk once or twice a week.....so that would be based on just a relationship NOT a friendship......(does that mke sense)...and in which case one or the other might "recurrir" to their childhood friends for advice...etc
So your saying it depends on the deepness of the relationship.....
Well if youve been with that person for a year and seeing each other regularly and the one time they have problems they cant come to you..that just doesnt seem right.
I mean you cant push a person to tell you their problems...even if your bf or gf..you do that with friends too..but if their first reaction when they have a downfall is to go to their friends...instead of you, (which by the way you have helped imensily with tangible stuff) & cant share their trials and tribulations...I think thats just kinda crappy! Id have to ask myself...the wtf am I here for then? and to be told that you (after having dated for ayear) are not well known enough to be a a friend to tell their things to? how would you feel?
If you spend your every day with this person and make moves with this person's consent or advise.....and tell your person about your everyday life (talking daily).....it's kinda hard NOT to be friends....it's inevitable.....beuase you're bound to also have arguments and disagree on stuff as friends..... BUT...there are other relationships where the couple only see and talk once or twice a week.....so that would be based on just a relationship NOT a friendship......(does that mke sense)...and in which case one or the other might "recurrir" to their childhood friends for advice...etc
Friendship & Relationships ahhh here goes another of my questions..see if you guys can give me ure 2 cents..Who of you, believe that a relationship is based on a friendship? Those of you (if you dont have one hypothetically speaking) who have a +1 do you consider them your best friend? Have you ever been in a situation where the +1 didnt really treat you as a friend and when they had problems (personal) they would go to their friends and didnt come to you? What if you were told that they go to their friends because they have a longer time of being friends with them, then having known you (youve been dating for one year) ? how bad is that? Some people I know have told me that a friendship and a relationship should not mix. I disagree, thats what makes the relationship have substance, otherwise whats the point of a relationship? -- Edited by Jade at 09:11, 2006-05-18
me....
__________________
Roses are red violets are korny, when I think of you Ohh baby I get horny...
If you spend your every day with this person and make moves with this person's consent or advise.....and tell your person about your everyday life (talking daily).....it's kinda hard NOT to be friends....it's inevitable.....beuase you're bound to also have arguments and disagree on stuff as friends.....
BUT...there are other relationships where the couple only see and talk once or twice a week.....so that would be based on just a relationship NOT a friendship......(does that mke sense)...and in which case one or the other might "recurrir" to their childhood friends for advice...etc
__________________
"To be a good Promoter you must have the heart of a Gambler and the mind of a Computer"
ahhh here goes another of my questions..see if you guys can give me ure 2 cents..
Who of you, believe that a relationship is based on a friendship? Those of you (if you dont have one hypothetically speaking) who have a +1 do you consider them your best friend?
Have you ever been in a situation where the +1 didnt really treat you as a friend and when they had problems (personal) they would go to their friends and didnt come to you? What if you were told that they go to their friends because they have a longer time of being friends with them, then having known you (youve been dating for one year) ? how bad is that?
Some people I know have told me that a friendship and a relationship should not mix. I disagree, thats what makes the relationship have substance, otherwise whats the point of a relationship?
person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement:-- Edited by Truthseeker at 12:01, 2006-05-18 
"Most of us fall short much more by omission than by commission."
Who of you, believe that a relationship is based on a friendship? Those of you (if you dont have one hypothetically speaking) who have a +1 do you consider them your best friend? Have you ever been in a situation where the +1 didnt really treat you as a friend and when they had problems (personal) they would go to their friends and didnt come to you? What if you were told that they go to their friends because they have a longer time of being friends with them, then having known you (youve been dating for one year) ? how bad is that? 
Some people I know have told me that a friendship and a relationship should not mix. I disagree, thats what makes the relationship have substance, otherwise whats the point of a relationship? 
Roses are red violets are korny, when I think of you Ohh baby I get horny...
