Tips for us women!!!

Chale Tanga · TOP Guru

RE: Tips for us women!!!

Motown Junkie · TOP Guru

It's a long read but well worth it: Check out the story on how this woman escaped from getting raped. http://www.pulse24.com/News/Top_Story/20060425-012/page.asp

Here are some options from police experts and the Toronto Rape Crisis Centre.

To fight back or not to fight back?
It's one of the key questions, and unfortunately, there's no single correct answer. A lot depends on the circumstances surrounding the attack.

The person committing the crime may be armed and ready to do you serious harm.

Here's what cops suggest you can do depending on the scenario.

Passive Resistance

Most rapists see their victims as objects not people. Attempting to get them to realize you're a human being with feelings, family ties and loved ones might make a difference.

Basically, this approach sees you trying to talk your way out of the situation or distract the attacker so you can get away.

There are several strategies involved, including:

Talking calmly. Most rapists feed off the fear and the control. Don't give it to them, despite the panic you might feel.

Lie. Tell him you're sick, pregnant or have a sexually transmitted disease - anything to distract him from his avowed purpose.

Act up. Cry hysterically, pretend to faint or even act like you've gone insane. It may put him off guard.

The Friend. Tell them a friend, spouse or acquaintance is coming any minute to meet you in order to scare him off.

Active Resistance

When the other options don't work, you may be forced to fight for your life. Police can't say when this is your best strategy and you'll have to decide in your own mind when to employ it.

But they warn once you decide to fight back, it's too late to change your mind.

Remember, the goal is to escape not get revenge or punishment. That's up to law enforcement.

This strategy involves the following steps:

Yelling: attracting the attention of others could scare your assailant away. It will only work if the attack is taking place in an area that's not isolated. Screaming 'fire' or 'police' will make people more likely to come to your aid than simply shouting 'help'.

Struggling: This leaves you open to injuries, especially if your attacker is armed. It's a tough choice, but if you decide to take it, don't be timid. The goal is to impair your enemy long enough to escape his clutches. Go for the eyes, the groin or any tender spot that might give you the advantage. And if you take this step, don't hold back.

Self-defence: If you opt to try a karate or judo move, make sure you're proficient in the technique. You have to know what you're doing before someone strikes.

What if you can't escape?

It's a difficult position, but your best defence is still keeping your wits about you.

Try and take note of specific features of your assailant. What's his height, weight and skin colour? Does he have any tattoos, scars or facial hair? Are there any odd smells attached to him, like cigarette smoke, sweat or solvents? What colour was his hair? What was he wearing? What kind of car was he driving and which way did he go when he left?

In the end, the best solution is prevention, and with that in mind, cops also offer this advice:

Try to avoid remote areas and short cuts, especially late at night.

If possible, walk with someone else.

Walk near a curb, away from shrubs and trees where someone can hide.

Park in well lit areas.

If you think you're being followed, head to someplace well populated and public.

Have your key ready before you get to your car or front door.

Keep your car doors locked when you're driving.

Check the back seat and floorboards before getting in.

If someone tries to stop your vehicle, don't get out or open any windows until you know who they are.

Remember in the end, surviving is the best revenge. By not panicking you can help authorities find the man who hurt you before he does it to anyone else.

Fighting Back Myths

Unlike some police agencies, The Toronto Rape Crisis Centre believes a woman should fight back whenever possible.

In their logic, if a suspect has a weapon, there's a good chance he may use it against you no matter what you do. So they've concluded fighting back is often your best option.

Studies show the majority of women who do battle their attacker not only survive, but often escape.

Here's their take on the myths and facts behind this strategy.

Myth: Are you putting women at risk by suggesting that they can defend themselves? Will women be more likely to take bigger risks with their safety?

Fact: Women with self-defense skills have more options in the face of an assault. Learning to defend and protect yourself does not mean that women will put yourself at risk or in situations in which you are uncomfortable.

For example: having fire drills and being familiar with fire safety doesn't make you more likely to have a fire or be injured in one.

Myth: It's best to focus our energies on changing women's behaviours; putting more money into walk safe programs, imposing curfews and informing women which clothing not to wear.

Fact: Women aren't chosen by rapists because of their clothing. This myth keeps women thinking about how they're dressed instead of how safe they are in any given situation.

Imposing curfews implies that women are at most risk at night, which is not true and while walk safe programs can be a great option for women, they rely on the myth that most rapists are strangers to the women they rape and that most rapes occur outside.

In fact, on 10-20 percent of women are assaulted by strangers. The most frequent place women are assaulted is in their own homes (where a walk safe program will not be in effect).

Myth: Women will be hurt if they fight back.

Fact: Being raped is being hurt. It is an injury. Furthermore, some research has found that only 3 percent of rapes involved injuries beyond the sexual attack.

Myth: Women shouldn't resist during an attack. Women should never resist if the attacker has a weapon.

Fact: Recent research has found that women who fought back were more likely to avoid/stop a rape than those who did not. The presence of a weapon had no effect on this outcome.

Myth: Aren't you teaching women to be violent? How does this improve the situation?

Fact: No, we aren't teaching women to be violent. We're encouraging women to be better protected against rapists.

Sometimes, that means learning many different forms of self defence, including physical self defence.

Myth: Isn't gaining a rapist's sympathy, by begging or pleading, the most effective way to avoid being raped?

Fact: No. Begging and/or pleading with a rapist are some of the least effective strategies for stopping a rape.

Myth: Women can't win fights with men.

Fact: Self defence is not about winning a fight, it's about getting away. By changing the way women feel and think about their bodies; women can begin to see themselves as capable and confident of getting away when necessary.

Myth: I didn't fight back, so is it my fault I was raped?

Fact: No. It's never a women's fault if she's raped. Resisting an attacker is only one of many options for a woman. Fighting back happens in many different ways, and sometimes after an assault. Some women see reporting an attack to the police as fighting back.

Myth & Facts Courtesy: Toronto Rape Crisis Centre and the Toronto Rape Crisis Centre.