Would you marry someone who has 2 or more kids?

Sweetness · Guru

RE: Would you marry someone who has 2 or more kids?

Date: Mar 2 11:24 PM, 2006

I think it depends on how secure you are in the relationship!!! As long as you're ok with the "ex" still being in the picture, I don't think it'll be a problem. Also, if you're willing to become an instant parent, then everything's good to go.

Alia · Regular Plus

Well if I really loved him and the situation was good.....I love kids.

LA OTRA · Regular Plus

Jaime Cruz wrote:

Would you marry someone who has 2 kids or more from different mothers/fathers?

Men do it with women, I guess it goes both ways

Jaime Cruz · Foro Master

LA OTRA wrote:

2 would be my limit!

Kinda of a twist.
Would you marry someone who has 2 kids or more from different mothers/fathers?

LA OTRA · Regular Plus

2 would be my limit!

angelita dulce · Foro Master

Gitana wrote:

Chilenita wrote: Single dads....rare to find. VERY TRUE....

I also agree!! It's rare to find, but there are. For example, my neighbour just recently separated from his wife and now he has 3 of the boys living with him. One of them is his stepson, but he wants to take care of him!! The other two are with his ex.I have so much respect for him, cause even though his wife cheated on him with his best friend, he cares for all his kids and wants to take care of them! He works hard to keep food on the table and a shelter for his kids!!

Gitana · Foro Master

Chilenita wrote:

Single dads....rare to find.

VERY TRUE....

TV Buff · TOP Guru

Dogo wrote:

he's with me 50% of the time (2 days on, 2 days off)But ya, still not easy... specially 'cause I live on my own and my family lives kind of far away, so they can't help me as much as they would like to. The "a los dads que los parta un rayo" comment was a joke, obviously....... 50% is barely manageble but I can see the sacrifice some single parents go through, specially if you don't have, or can't afford, outside help

That arrangement must be really hard on your son, I suspect, because of the constant change. Hopefully you live close to your ex and your son's life isn't as affected? How's he coping? You know how it is, kids get their routine and he has to be going from one house to the next every couple of days, so I imagine how hard it must be for him.

El Duro · Foro Master

Chilenita wrote:

Dogo wrote: Chilenita wrote: Dogo wrote: Claro! and single dads, que los parta un rayo! Do you raise your child on your own? No, not totally.... he's with me 50% of the time (2 days on, 2 days off)But ya, still not easy... specially 'cause I live on my own and my family lives kind of far away, so they can't help me as much as they would like to. The "a los dads que los parta un rayo" comment was a joke, obviously....... 50% is barely manageble but I can see the sacrifice some single parents go through, specially if you don't have, or can't afford, outside help That's great that you see him as often as you do!! My brother is a single dad. His daughter is with him full time and sees her mom on weekens - SOMETIMES!!! It's not easy at all. The fact that he has a girl makes it a bit harder because a girl needs a woman around. Also she is still in daycare part time and that is VERY expensive as you know. He manages though and he is an excellent father. Single dads....rare to find.

I know that feeling.. being a single dad is hard, but i don't think i would have it any other way

Chilenita · Comandante

Dogo wrote:

Chilenita wrote: Dogo wrote: Claro! and single dads, que los parta un rayo! Do you raise your child on your own? No, not totally.... he's with me 50% of the time (2 days on, 2 days off)But ya, still not easy... specially 'cause I live on my own and my family lives kind of far away, so they can't help me as much as they would like to. The "a los dads que los parta un rayo" comment was a joke, obviously....... 50% is barely manageble but I can see the sacrifice some single parents go through, specially if you don't have, or can't afford, outside help

That's great that you see him as often as you do!!

My brother is a single dad. His daughter is with him full time and sees her mom on weekens - SOMETIMES!!! It's not easy at all. The fact that he has a girl makes it a bit harder because a girl needs a woman around. Also she is still in daycare part time and that is VERY expensive as you know. He manages though and he is an excellent father. Single dads....rare to find.

Date: Mar 1 3:11 PM, 2006

angelita dulce wrote:

Ok, both of you just call eachother!! We all know NENA is a wonderful person and accepts "Little Duro man" and that you both love eachother!!! So when are the wedding bells gonna ring???

LOL..... thanks AD.. see know me so well and even though we met only once...

Ask Duro the second question...

angelita dulce · Foro Master

El Duro wrote:

NeNa wrote: El Duro wrote: NeNa wrote: I don't mind marrying a man with kids...no more than 1 of course... (actually I'm getting marry to one! All depends.. do u have a good relationship with the kid(s)????, do u treat them with respect and DO they treat with well too.???... Are they comfortable with you going out with mom/dad and the possibility of you becoming a step-parent???? And like Princesa said.. why do u want to introduce your kids to every single person u're going out...this will only cause more problems in the future and will confuse the kid... your marry someone that has a child...........no good Noooo Goodd?????? Do u think I'm making a mistake??? cause I don't LOL........... are u sure about it

Ok, both of you just call eachother!! We all know NENA is a wonderful person and accepts "Little Duro man" and that you both love eachother!!! So when are the wedding bells gonna ring???

El Duro · Foro Master

NeNa wrote:

El Duro wrote: NeNa wrote: I don't mind marrying a man with kids...no more than 1 of course... (actually I'm getting marry to one! All depends.. do u have a good relationship with the kid(s)????, do u treat them with respect and DO they treat with well too.???... Are they comfortable with you going out with mom/dad and the possibility of you becoming a step-parent???? And like Princesa said.. why do u want to introduce your kids to every single person u're going out...this will only cause more problems in the future and will confuse the kid... your marry someone that has a child...........no good Noooo Goodd?????? Do u think I'm making a mistake??? cause I don't

LOL........... are u sure about it

Salsera de Corazon · TOP Guru

Dogo wrote:

Chilenita wrote: Dogo wrote: Claro! and single dads, que los parta un rayo! Do you raise your child on your own? No, not totally.... he's with me 50% of the time (2 days on, 2 days off)But ya, still not easy... specially 'cause I live on my own and my family lives kind of far away, so they can't help me as much as they would like to. The "a los dads que los parta un rayo" comment was a joke, obviously....... 50% is barely manageble but I can see the sacrifice some single parents go through, specially if you don't have, or can't afford, outside help

yes, I agree with you Dogo, it is not easy BUT it is not impossible

Date: Mar 1 2:39 PM, 2006

El Duro wrote:

NeNa wrote: I don't mind marrying a man with kids...no more than 1 of course... (actually I'm getting marry to one! All depends.. do u have a good relationship with the kid(s)????, do u treat them with respect and DO they treat with well too.???... Are they comfortable with you going out with mom/dad and the possibility of you becoming a step-parent???? And like Princesa said.. why do u want to introduce your kids to every single person u're going out...this will only cause more problems in the future and will confuse the kid... your marry someone that has a child...........no good

Noooo Goodd??????

Do u think I'm making a mistake??? cause I don't

Dogo · Comandante

Chilenita wrote:

Dogo wrote: Claro! and single dads, que los parta un rayo! Do you raise your child on your own?

No, not totally.... he's with me 50% of the time (2 days on, 2 days off)
But ya, still not easy... specially 'cause I live on my own and my family lives kind of far away, so they can't help me as much as they would like to.

The "a los dads que los parta un rayo" comment was a joke, obviously....... 50% is barely manageble but I can see the sacrifice some single parents go through, specially if you don't have, or can't afford, outside help

El Duro · Foro Master

NeNa wrote:

I don't mind marrying a man with kids...no more than 1 of course... (actually I'm getting marry to one! All depends.. do u have a good relationship with the kid(s)????, do u treat them with respect and DO they treat with well too.???... Are they comfortable with you going out with mom/dad and the possibility of you becoming a step-parent???? And like Princesa said.. why do u want to introduce your kids to every single person u're going out...this will only cause more problems in the future and will confuse the kid...

your marry someone that has a child...........no good

melanie · Guru

Dogo wrote:

melanie wrote: I wish I could say it wouldnt matter that this person(who ever he may be) has kids from a previous relationship, but it does matter. For someone like me that wants to have kids I think it would be an amazing thing for both partners to go through toghether FOR THE FIRST TIME. I dont know maybe having your third child doesnt mean you dont loose the luster and excitment of having a baby....i would think that you would though. WHO KNOWS? Im a Libra, ask me the question slightly different I may give you a different answer ...LOL Do you like other peoples children?

LOL...I love most peoples children. If I know from the beginning that a man has kids..depending on the man..I may continue to hangout. When and if i meet his kids..if there brats...I QUIT...

Im kidding.

Chilenita · Comandante

Dogo wrote:

Claro! and single dads, que los parta un rayo!

Do you raise your child on your own?

Dogo · Comandante

melanie wrote:

I wish I could say it wouldnt matter that this person(who ever he may be) has kids from a previous relationship, but it does matter. For someone like me that wants to have kids I think it would be an amazing thing for both partners to go through toghether FOR THE FIRST TIME. I dont know maybe having your third child doesnt mean you dont loose the luster and excitment of having a baby....i would think that you would though. WHO KNOWS? Im a Libra, ask me the question slightly different I may give you a different answer ...LOL

Do you like other peoples children?

melanie · Guru

I wish I could say it wouldnt matter that this person(who ever he may be) has kids from a previous relationship, but it does matter. For someone like me that wants to have kids I think it would be an amazing thing for both partners to go through toghether FOR THE FIRST TIME.

I dont know maybe having your third child doesnt mean you dont loose the luster and excitment of having a baby....i would think that you would though.

WHO KNOWS? Im a Libra, ask me the question slightly different I may give you a different answer ...LOL

Dogo · Comandante

Claro! and single dads, que los parta un rayo!

Dogo · Comandante

PRINCESSA wrote:

X4v13r wrote: I have un secreto!!!! X@vier Ya RIGHT. You wouldn't live to to tell me. @Dogo....FINE I'll be real. I wanna be a stepmom. LOL

LOL...I was being sarcastic, hon
You're very blunt, not necessarily a bad thing

Jaime Cruz · Foro Master

torontotrucho wrote:

NEver say never. One kid ..no problem. Two is pushing it, but still...it all depends on the situation. God bless all single women. I admire how they love and bring kids up. My grand-mother was a single mother and she alone brought up two sons. Women are brave creatures, respect for them.

Single mothers amaze me too. My mom was a single mom and worked extrmely hard for get us through alot of tough times.

bistor · Guru

It sounds nicer than "cellery".

Chilenita · Comandante

bistor wrote:

Gitana wrote: AT ONE POINT I HAD A SERIOUS PROBLEM WHEN IT CAME TO DATING A MAN WITH KIDS.... I HONESTLY TRIED MY HARDEST NOT TO EVEN GIVE IT A CHANCE.... I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE TOO COMPLICATED.... I DON'T ANYMORE.... IF I REALLY LIKE/LOVE HIM.... I WILL ACCEPT HIM WITH HIS CHILD(REN) And I love you too, pumpkin! But I don't have kids....

what is with you and pumpkins this week?

Gitana · Foro Master

bistor wrote:

And I love you too, pumpkin! But I don't have kids....

Chilenita · Comandante

PRINCESSA wrote:

I Know i can't do it. I was once seeing this guy & I didn't know he had a kid, but then one day I heard from the mom's kid & was Furious. First how can any normal person lie about having kids (that's so dirty & shamefull) Secondly I'm the totally wrong girl to be a mom for a stranger kid, no matter how much i would of liked/loved him. In a way I am selfish & maybe self-centered but I don't have time, nor do I want or care to be a stepmom. If I'm going to be a mom, it will be ONLY of my kids. If I can't have kids then I will adopt, but at that point I have no birth mom bothering me or my hubby having to pay for child support. NO Way, the money me & my hubby have is just for us & OUR kids. Wow I'm selfish. But I'm real & honest about it, unlike some girls play like they care, just to get the guy & in reality give 2 sh_ts @ the kids & end up being HORRIBLE stempmoms.

I don't consider you selfish. A selfish person would not consider adoption. If you don't want a man with a kid there is nothing wrong with that at all. In fact it's good that you know where you stand that way you don't screw up some little kids life. The only thing you must keep in mind ....right now anyway....is that if you are too selfish or don't have time for anyone else's kids than you aren't ready for your own either.

torontotrucho · Guru

NEver say never.

One kid ..no problem. Two is pushing it, but still...it all depends on the situation.

God bless all single women. I admire how they love and bring kids up. My grand-mother was a single mother and she alone brought up two sons. Women are brave creatures, respect for them.

bistor · Guru

Gitana wrote:

AT ONE POINT I HAD A SERIOUS PROBLEM WHEN IT CAME TO DATING A MAN WITH KIDS.... I HONESTLY TRIED MY HARDEST NOT TO EVEN GIVE IT A CHANCE.... I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE TOO COMPLICATED.... I DON'T ANYMORE.... IF I REALLY LIKE/LOVE HIM.... I WILL ACCEPT HIM WITH HIS CHILD(REN)

And I love you too, pumpkin!

But I don't have kids....

Gitana · Foro Master

AT ONE POINT I HAD A SERIOUS PROBLEM WHEN IT CAME TO DATING A MAN WITH KIDS.... I HONESTLY TRIED MY HARDEST NOT TO EVEN GIVE IT A CHANCE.... I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE TOO COMPLICATED....

I DON'T ANYMORE.... IF I REALLY LIKE/LOVE HIM.... I WILL ACCEPT HIM WITH HIS CHILD(REN)

DulceGalletita · Foro Master

Ummm, tough question ... I say I would marry a man with only 1 child as that is my max ... but sorpresas da la vida so I can't really answer this unless I'm in the situation

But yes, I don't think children should be introduced to every partner their parent dates it will only confuse them and have them bonding with someone who in the long run mean something very much to them and if things don't work out the child loses out

bistor · Guru

There are all kinds of single parents... from the person working hard to stay a float and forge a future for her/himself and the kids to the parent that just dumps the kids on grandma and grandpa.

Different strokes for different folks.

Guadalupana · Foro Master

If you date someone who you later find out has a child, and if your intentions are only to 'pass time'...i'd say leave. The child feels it more than you can imagine.

I don't know if i would marry someone with children (This is for argument's sake) it depends how old the child is.

If they're teens, it's a lot harder to win them over, and to have someone hate you so much while all you do is love your partner, is heart breaking.

hElL · Regular Plus

I see your points of view (Angelita Dulce and God), that's why I said most of and raise a child is not only providing him/her things that money can buy, it is more than that. Every situation is different but for what I have seen I can tell that single moms/dads want their children to have a maternal/paternal figure , even more when the relation with the other parent is not good. Even though some people don't admit it , that is what they are looking for.

Date: Mar 1 12:45 PM, 2006

I don't mind marrying a man with kids...no more than 1 of course... (actually I'm getting marry to one!

All depends.. do u have a good relationship with the kid(s)????, do u treat them with respect and DO they treat with well too.???... Are they comfortable with you going out with mom/dad and the possibility of you becoming a step-parent????

And like Princesa said.. why do u want to introduce your kids to every single person u're going out...this will only cause more problems in the future and will confuse the kid...

hElL · Regular Plus

PRINCESSA wrote:

I Know i can't do it. I was once seeing this guy & I didn't know he had a kid, but then one day I heard from the mom's kid & was Furious. First how can any normal person lie about having kids (that's so dirty & shamefull) Secondly I'm the totally wrong girl to be a mom for a stranger kid, no matter how much i would of liked/loved him. In a way I am selfish & maybe self-centered but I don't have time, nor do I want or care to be a stepmom. If I'm going to be a mom, it will be ONLY of my kids. If I can't have kids then I will adopt, but at that point I have no birth mom bothering me or my hubby having to pay for child support. NO Way, the money me & my hubby have is just for us & OUR kids. Wow I'm selfish. But I'm real & honest about it, unlike some girls play like they care, just to get the guy & in reality give 2 sh_ts @ the kids & end up being HORRIBLE stempmoms.

It is true what you are saying, and if the stepmother/father doesn't treat the kids right, it will be the "parent" fault. When you are parent , you always want the best for your kids and if it is not like that then the person who is having a relationship with you won't care about them either. Being good parent means give your children everything they need and more.

@God: What is wrong?

PRINCESSA · TOP Guru

X4v13r wrote:

I have un secreto!!!! X@vier

Ya RIGHT. You wouldn't live to to tell me.

@Dogo....FINE I'll be real. I wanna be a stepmom. LOL

God · Foro Master

angelita dulce wrote:

hElL wrote:
When you say "date" that means that is something more serious and feelings are involved. Then my answer is NO, I haven't and I won't. Too much responsabilities, and most of the time the single parent is looking for someone that can be with them and help to raise the children.

You know what, i am a single mother! I've been this way for 3 years and i am doing great!! And i am NOT looking for someone to help me raise my son!! I work full time and recently got a part time job working for an outside lawyer!! Asides that, i go to night school every night!! I work my a$$ off to raise my son!
But you are right, there are SOME people who are looking for someone who needs help rasing their child!! But that is not the majority of the time, cause i do know a lot of single parents out there who are doing great on their own!!

That's what I'm talking about. Normally Single moms are Strong women, they have tons of responsabilities in their back and they have to deal with them on their OWN.

Not easy for a single person to keep a house, a job, school, and a Kid.

angelita dulce · Foro Master

hElL wrote:

When you say "date" that means that is something more serious and feelings are involved. Then my answer is NO, I haven't and I won't. Too much responsabilities, and most of the time the single parent is looking for someone that can be with them and help to raise the children.

You know what, i am a single mother! I've been this way for 3 years and i am doing great!! And i am NOT looking for someone to help me raise my son!! I work full time and recently got a part time job working for an outside lawyer!! Asides that, i go to night school every night!! I work my a$$ off to raise my son!

But you are right, there are SOME people who are looking for someone who needs help rasing their child!! But that is not the majority of the time, cause i do know a lot of single parents out there who are doing great on their own!!

X4v13r · Comandante

PRINCESSA wrote:

I Know i can't do it.
I was once seeing this guy & I didn't know he had a kid, but then one day I heard from the mom's kid & was Furious. First how can any normal person lie about having kids (that's so dirty & shamefull) Secondly I'm the totally wrong girl to be a mom for a stranger kid, no matter how much i would of liked/loved him. In a way I am selfish & maybe self-centered but I don't have time, nor do I want or care to be a stepmom.
If I'm going to be a mom, it will be ONLY of my kids. If I can't have kids then I will adopt, but at that point I have no birth mom bothering me or my hubby having to pay for child support. NO Way, the money me & my hubby have is just for us & OUR kids.
Wow I'm selfish. But I'm real & honest about it, unlike some girls play like they care, just to get the guy & in reality give 2 sh_ts @ the kids & end up being HORRIBLE stempmoms.

I have un secreto!!!!

X@vier

Dogo · Comandante

PRINCESSA wrote:

I Know i can't do it. I was once seeing this guy & I didn't know he had a kid, but then one day I heard from the mom's kid & was Furious. First how can any normal person lie about having kids (that's so dirty & shamefull) Secondly I'm the totally wrong girl to be a mom for a stranger kid, no matter how much i would of liked/loved him. In a way I am selfish & maybe self-centered but I don't have time, nor do I want or care to be a stepmom. If I'm going to be a mom, it will be ONLY of my kids. If I can't have kids then I will adopt, but at that point I have no birth mom bothering me or my hubby having to pay for child support. NO Way, the money me & my hubby have is just for us & OUR kids. Wow I'm selfish. But I'm real & honest about it, unlike some girls play like they care, just to get the guy & in reality give 2 sh_ts @ the kids & end up being HORRIBLE stempmoms.

Tell us what you REALLY feel!! LOL

Jaime Cruz · Foro Master

PRINCESSA wrote:

I Know i can't do it. I was once seeing this guy & I didn't know he had a kid, but then one day I heard from the mom's kid & was Furious. First how can any normal person lie about having kids (that's so dirty & shamefull) Secondly I'm the totally wrong girl to be a mom for a stranger kid, no matter how much i would of liked/loved him. In a way I am selfish & maybe self-centered but I don't have time, nor do I want or care to be a stepmom. If I'm going to be a mom, it will be ONLY of my kids. If I can't have kids then I will adopt, but at that point I have no birth mom bothering me or my hubby having to pay for child support. NO Way, the money me & my hubby have is just for us & OUR kids. Wow I'm selfish. But I'm real & honest about it, unlike some girls play like they care, just to get the guy & in reality give 2 sh_ts @ the kids & end up being HORRIBLE stempmoms.

Your not selfish. It's an honest answer and I'm sure there are plenty of people that think the same way.

PRINCESSA · TOP Guru

I Know i can't do it.

I was once seeing this guy & I didn't know he had a kid, but then one day I heard from the mom's kid & was Furious. First how can any normal person lie about having kids (that's so dirty & shamefull) Secondly I'm the totally wrong girl to be a mom for a stranger kid, no matter how much i would of liked/loved him. In a way I am selfish & maybe self-centered but I don't have time, nor do I want or care to be a stepmom.

If I'm going to be a mom, it will be ONLY of my kids. If I can't have kids then I will adopt, but at that point I have no birth mom bothering me or my hubby having to pay for child support. NO Way, the money me & my hubby have is just for us & OUR kids.

Wow I'm selfish. But I'm real & honest about it, unlike some girls play like they care, just to get the guy & in reality give 2 sh_ts @ the kids & end up being HORRIBLE stempmoms.

God · Foro Master

hElL wrote:

most of the time the single parent is looking for someone that can be with them and help to raise the children.

Absolutlely Wrong.

hElL · Regular Plus

When you say "date" that means that is something more serious and feelings are involved. Then my answer is NO, I haven't and I won't. Too much responsabilities, and most of the time the single parent is looking for someone that can be with them and help to raise the children.

angelita dulce · Foro Master

I wouldn't have a problem, as long as i care about that man and he treats me right!! I have a son and i also want to make sure that the man excepts both my son and i. But i wouldn't introduce my son to any man,until i know that the relationship is strong enough!!

I have a friend who changes man like underwear and she introduces every man to her son. I don't agree with that, because she just confuses her son. He gets attached and then he has to meet another man!! I've told her in a nice way that it's wrong, but she doesn't care to hear my advices!!!

Colombiana4Life · Foro Master

Chilenita wrote:

Jaime Cruz wrote: Chilenita wrote: I have never dated anyone with kids so I don't really know. I do think that if you decide to marry or seriously date someone with children then you should be fully prepared to be a dad/mom. There is nothing worse for a child than having some man or woman come into their life that doesn't give a crap about them. So true. Kids shouldn't be played with in relationships. I don't even think a women/man with children should introduce a man to their kids until it's a rock solid relationship!! The child does not need to meet all of mommy or daddy's flings. If it's serious than that is different.

Totally agree with Chile. And not only that, but sometimes in the abscence of dad, kids get attached easily.

God · Foro Master

I've dated women with kids and husbands and I don't have any problems as far their hubby doesn''t find out.

-- Edited by God at 11:09, 2006-03-01