Lahtina wrote:

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LMAO, that's not fair! I clicked before I read the thing on the link and noticed it as the window was opening. I declare nothing! Note to self: never sign anything for Daeveed.

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hahaha, i hope it helped.

Lahtina wrote:

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Daeveed wrote: Lahtina wrote:   Is it true or is it just a latino old wives tale that you shouldn't having cold drinks or ice cream will make you sick? Ok, of course I don't believe this but... what about having cold stuff when you're already sick, will it make it worse? ask your doctor.... A third visit in less than 24 hours?

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Here's some information.

By clicking on this link I declare I am a hypochondriac

Lahtina wrote:

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  Is it true or is it just a latino old wives tale that you shouldn't having cold drinks or ice cream will make you sick? Ok, of course I don't believe this but... what about having cold stuff when you're already sick, will it make it worse?

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ask your doctor....

GENIE wrote:

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Jaime Cruz wrote: WAYS YOU KNOW YOU ARE AT A HISPANIC WEDDING NOBODY HAS INVITATIONS...ONLY MAPS. AN AVERAGE OF 12 PEOPLE ATTEND PER INVITATION. NO ONE GOES TO THE WEDDING, BUT EVERYONE GOES TO THE RECEPTION. THE BRIDE'S KIDS ARE THE FLOWER GIRLS AND THE RING-BEARER. THE RECEPTION IS AT NIGHT AND YOU WONDER HOW GRINGOS HAVE WEDDINGS DURING THE DAY! EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN LIQUOR BOTTLES. ALL THE CENTERPIECES ARE GONE. OPEN BAR AND COMPLIMENTARY KEGS. EVERYONE'S KIDS ARE RUNNING AROUND CRAZY AND ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS THROW A BOTTLE AT THEM. THE MEN DRESS IN ZOOT SUITS..AND THE BRIDE DRESSED IN PINK. THE COMIDA HAS RICE AND BEANS. PEOPLE ARE TAKING FOOD PLATES HOME. PEOPLE ARE TAKING HUGE PIECES OF CAKE HOME. ONE OF THE RELATIVES IS DRUNK AND HUGGING EVERYONE TELLING THEM "TE QUIERO MUCHO". THE DOLLAR DANCE LASTS OVER AN HOUR. THERE ARE SEVEN BRIDESMAIDS. THE CAKE WAS MADE BY "THE CAKE LADY" AND NOT THE BAKERY. THE WOMEN DANCE CUMBIAS TOGETHER. YOU HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE BALLROOM BEFORE YOU LEAVE. THE WEDDING ENDS AT 6:00 am AT THE BRIDE'S HOUSE. BONUS: A FIGHT BREAKS OUT OMG IM DYING THIS SO HAPPEND at my wedding too funny!!!!

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Wow, you're actually alive, and posting!

Jaime Cruz wrote:

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I do have D.A.R.T insurance. I'm with DBC(DART Bank of Canada).They're great. I've had a few D.A.R.T's already and my premium has never gone up.

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LMAO brilliant!

D.A.R.T.

D.A.R.T!!!!!!!

MULTINATIONAL COMPANIES

A todos los que les ha tocado trabajar en una multinacional, han tenido que lidiar con jefes no hispano parlantes o algunos que han trabajado en otros paises. Esto seguramente les trae algun recuerdo...

"It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our offices, that offensive language is commonly used by our Spanish speaking staff.

Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

1.- Words like carajo, la **** madre or me pela la **** and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.

2.- You will not say la cag��en someone makes a mistake, or se estan cagando en el hijue putia if you see someone being reprimended, or que cagada when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb cagar are utterly innapropriate and unacceptable in our environment.

3.- No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred as hijo de las mil ****s, mal parido, es una **** or es una bestia.

4.- Lack of determination will not be referred to as que culero, falta de huevos nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as pelotudo, or que pendejo.

5.- Unusual or creative ideas offered by the management are not to be referred as pajas mentales or pendejadas.

6.- Do not say como hincha los huevos or que ladilla de **** if a person is persistent; do not add se lo esta llevando ****s if a colleague is going through a diffcult situation. Furthermore, you must not say la cagamos (refer to item 2) nor nos rompieron el culo when a matter becomes excessively complicated.

7.- When asking a someone to leave you alone, you must not say andate a la **** or pelame la **** nor should you ever substitute May I help you? with Que ****s quer鳿

8.- Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners viejitos ****s.

9.- Do not say chupame el huevo when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer pelamela when you assistance is required.

10.- You should never call partners cerote de **** o vieja tortillera; the sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as viejo maric��or mariquita de ****.

11.- Last but no means least, after reading this note please don't say me la paso por el culo. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

Thank you.

THE MANAGEMENT

SPANISH FOR GRINGOS:

There's always something to learn or to try, many times you need to say some phrases in Spanish, but you don't know how to say it, don't worry, your problems have finished, if your are a gringo and you don't speak spanish, the new "Diccionario para el gringo guey" (Smart Gringo Dictionary) will be helpful in your learning. For instance, we took from it some common phrases, just try and see the difference and how easy it is to speak spanish.

Boy as n r = Voy a cenar = I'm going to have a dinner

N L C John = en el sill�� on the armchair.

Be a hope and son = viejo panz�� fat old man.

Who and see to seek ago = Juancito se cag��Little John chickened out.

S toy tree stone = estoy trist�� I'm kind of sad.

Lost trap eat toss = los trapitos = the little rags.

Desk can saw = descansa = (you) rest.

As say toon as = aceitunas = olives.

The head the star mall less tan dough = deje de estar molestando = stop bugging me.

See eye = si hay = yes we have.

T n s free o ? = tienes fr�? = are you cold?

Tell o boy ah in cruise tar ! = Te lo voy a incrustar! = I'm gonna take you for a ride !!

Be a has r when there us = viejas arguenderas = arguing ****es

Come at a lost ugh wack cat tess = comete los aguacates = eat the avocados

Kit at tell loss war at chess = quitate los guaraches = take off your sandals

Ball add the pay jazz sad us = bola de payasadas = Silly stuff.

S taz pen the ho = estas pendejo = you are an ****.

T N S L P P B N T S O = Tienes el pipi bien tieso = you have an erection.

Pooh row ped o = puro pedo = its all bull ****

Rascal p tow = rasca el pito = scratch the dick

Mass car eat a saw grad ah = mascarita sagrada = name for famous wrestler in Mexico.

S toy as tall a mad re = Estoy hasta la madre = I'm fed up (to the mother!)

You know you are at a SERIOUS Mexican Birthday Party IF:

1. Some of the guest didn't bring a gifts, but brought extra uninvited kids.
2. When the cake says "Happy Birthday Mijo" instead of the child's real name.
3. The party is at Chuck E Cheese but they brought their own food, cake, and a pinata.
4. It's a child's party but there are more grown-ups than children.
5. It's "Mijo's" 1st Birthday and the party food is BBQ, arroz con beans, y 10 cases de Budweisers.
6. For entertainment, instead of playing pin the tail on the donkey, there is usually a live fight.
7. They don't sing Happy Birthday, instead everyone is still dancing > > "La Macarena".
8. There are twenty kids at the party but no parents (....They got dropped off)
9. The party was over at 5:00, it's 8:00 and somebody's kids are STILL there.
10. You find out that Tio left Abuela propped-up in a corner chair and told her not to move till he came back for her..... tomorrow.
11. The invitations said Pool Party, you get there and the men are playing billiards in the car port.
12. The host calls someone who's on their way and tells them to stop and get some ice.
13. The guest start arriving and the hostess disappears to get ready.
14. You had to borrow some food stamps from your cousin to buy the party food.
15. You know you're going to have to go to the flea market to sell some of the presents that "mijo" got to pay your cousin back for the food stamps.
16. You hear someone go up to the birthday child and say "Mira, tan cute! I'm going to have to get you something next week when I get paid, okay?".
17. The party wasn't planned, the birthday child just went outside and announced," Hey, Mommy said I'm getting ready to have a Birthday Party, come over!!!!".
18. The party is Saturday, so you got a call from the hostess Friday night saying, "I'm giving Mijo a birthday party tomorrow at 3:00".
19. Some guests bring gifts that are still in the store bag ("The Dollar Store") ..unwrapped.
20. They don't serve punch, you get Kool-Aid. And instead of Hot Dogs and chips you get Vienna sausages in WonderBread.
21. The Baby's Daddy (the Mommy's ex-boyfriend) and the Mommy's boyfriend (the one that the baby seems to like more) are both there and the baby keeps calling them both "Daddy!"
22. There always seems to be more family than friends at the party.
23. You have the party over at your brother's because he just bought a new house and he has a pool table in the car port.
24. The cake didn't come from the store; it came from the 'viejita' down the block who makes really good cakes.
25. You are told you have to hold on to the plate that you ate your food on..........so you can eat your cake.
26. Someone calls and says they cant make it but asks that you save them some cake in a to-go-plate for when they pass by later.
27. You're offended because it makes you think of last years Drive-by.
28. Guest are wrapping up cake to take to Mommy, Tio, Abuela, Chata y Junior.
29. The party music is coming from the trunk of someone's car.
30. The birthday child is dressed from head to toe in Tommy Hilfiger.
31. The birthday baby's Daddy comes to the party and brings the kids he had before and after the Birthday Baby.
32. It's "Mijo's" party but since his cousin Amber is there and her birthday is in a few days, it becomes Mijo's and Amber's Party.

Power to La Raza!