angelita dulce wrote: Lahtina wrote: chica wow wrote: Thanks for making me laugh!!! Huh?! Did he pull down his pants? Na girl, not only would that make me laugh, that would get me to the point where i would pee my pants from all the laughter!! Let's not make fun of the poor guy, we don't want to give him a complex!!!LOL!! I'll show you complex
Lahtina wrote: chica wow wrote: Thanks for making me laugh!!! Huh?! Did he pull down his pants? Na girl, not only would that make me laugh, that would get me to the point where i would pee my pants from all the laughter!! Let's not make fun of the poor guy, we don't want to give him a complex!!!LOL!!
I'll show you complex
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chica wow wrote: Thanks for making me laugh!!! Huh?! Did he pull down his pants?
Na girl, not only would that make me laugh, that would get me to the point where i would pee my pants from all the laughter!! Let's not make fun of the poor guy, we don't want to give him a complex!!!LOL!!
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts (i'm not surprised) and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
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ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WTNES: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ___________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh.... _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
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The opinions expressed by this poster should always be considered offensive to Guadalupipi.
