How to keep a healthy level of insanity: 1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." NO WORD OF A LIE MY MOTHER DID THIS TO US I WAS LIKE BUY GUYS CUZ IM THE ONLY GIRL SO SHE AINT LETTING ME GO!! LOL
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN". 5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." 7) Don't use any punctuation 8) Use, too...much; punctuation! 9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 12) Sing along at the opera. 13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. 15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard." 17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!" 18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
