You Know You're Portuguese When...
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> > >Your mother or grandmother has Maria in her name.
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> > >
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> > >You have a rooster napkin holder.
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> > >
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> > >Your father or grandfather is called Manuel, Jose Antonio, Jose
>Maria or
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> > >Joe
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> > >
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> > >You have crocheted doilies on your kitchen counters, dining
>room,
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> > >living room, bedroom--on all your tables.
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> > >
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> > >You decorate your walls with plates.
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> > >
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> > >Your house is a mini church with just as may statues of saints
>and
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> > >Jesus as your church itself.
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> > >
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> > >You're 25 and still living with your parents. (Extra points if
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> > >you're married and living with your spouse in your parent's
>house)
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> > >
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> > >You warn other drivers of
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> >police on the highway by flashing your
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> > >lights, even though one of the drivers might have just robbed a
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> > >bank.
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> > >
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> > >You baptize your child and send him to catechism even though you
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> > >might never go to church except for weddings and funerals.
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> > >
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> > >You think all university graduates should be called "Doutor" and
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> > >like to be called so if you are one of the chosen few who have
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> > >managed to finish college.
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> > >
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> > >You park on the sidewalk when necessary, even asking the person
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> > >standing there to please move away.
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> > >
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> > >You have a mobile phone and spend a small fortune on it, but
>think
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> > >twice about going to the dentist.
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> > >
>
> > >You have a mother or grandmother who wears black.
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> > >
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> > >You spend your holidays in Spain instead of in Portugal because
>it
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> > >is cheaper.
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> > >
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> > >If you are a
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> >woman, you have been to see a "curadeiro" (healer) or
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> > >have had your fortune told.
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> > >
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> > >You insist you wouldn't be caught dead buying Spanish olive oil
>even
>
> > >though most of the olive oil consumed in Portugal comes from
>Spain.
>
> > >
>
> > >You laugh at jokes about the Alentejanos but get angry to know
>that
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> > >the same jokes are told in Brazil about the Portuguese.
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> > >
>
> > >You think that you can catch a cold with a draft or by sitting
>in
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> > >the spring sun. Cold drinks are also thought to bring on the
>
> > >dreadful "gripe". And don't let anyone have a shower after
>eating as
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> > >something terrible could happen to them.
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> > >
>
> > >You get a letter from your doctor saying you can't work because
>of
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> > >an "unspecified, ongoing medical condition" and then go on a
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> > >two-week holiday.
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> > >
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> > >Your child's teacher misses two
>
> >weeks (because of a letter from his
>
> > >or her doctor) and you don't complain because you also will use
>the
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> > >same doctor when you have to miss two weeks from your work.
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> > >
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> > >If you are from Porto you don't like people from Lisbon and call
>
> > >them Moors. The reverse is also true but they don't call you a
>nice
>
> > >word like "Moor".
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> > >
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> > >You think Brazilians speak incorrect Portuguese and will not
>read a
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> > >book written in Brazilian Portuguese.
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> > >
>
> > >The last major military victory you can remember your country
>having
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> > >was the Battle of Aljubarrota in 1385.
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> > >
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> > >You say that the Portuguese, unlike the Spanish, are good at
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> > >learning foreign languages.
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> > >
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> > >Your parents own like 9 houses in Portugal but complain about
>the
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> > >lack of money in Canada.
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> > >
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> > >Going to Portugal involves buying gifts for all 500 members of
>your
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> > >family
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> > >
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> > >You go crazy for the World Cup
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> > >
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> > >You refer to Portugal as "O Continente"
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> > >
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> > >You've walked in "as paradas" longer than you can remember
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> > >
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> > >You have grape vines in your backyard
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> > >
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> > >You earned over $10,000 for your first communion.
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> > >
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> > >To hell with the Turkey and Roast Beef! X-mas dinner was
>bacalhau au
>
> > >braz, baby!
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> > >
>
> > >A barbeque does not consist of burgers on the grill... Hello!
>Can
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> > >you say sardinhas?
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> > >
>
> > >You've had your license for a month, but your $20,000 car has
>been
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> > >"hooked up" for a year. I'm talking rims, tints, a system...
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> > >
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> > >A wooden spoon equals discipline, or if you ever had
>
> >to duck so you
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> > >wouldn't get hit with flying shoes.
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> > >
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> > >Your parents anticipate that you'll marry your first long-term
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> > >boyfriend/girlfriend.
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> > >
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> > >When you hear the word "Sagres" you think Beer, not historical
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> > >marine school.
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> > >
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> > >Nothing beats a buttered papo-seco.
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> > >
>
> > >Your 15 year old brother is allowed to have two girls sleep
>over,
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> > >but your 19 year old sister can't go out past 7pm.
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> > >
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> > >You think that 2am is too early to go to bed and that 11am is to
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> > >early to get out of bed.
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> > >
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> > >Your grandmother tells you look sick because you are too thin.
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> > >
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> > >Your parents make you eat 3 servings of dinner at each sitting
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> > >otherwise they think you don't like the cooking.