QUE chula LINDA wrote:

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 JAJAJJAJAJA   I never knew all these rules.   You guys are too complicated.     Funny thread.  -- Edited by QUE chula LINDA at 18:51, 2005-08-24

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Lahtina wrote:

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Wow! With all those rules in mind, how do you manage to think about sex as well?

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Daeveed wrote:

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Lahtina wrote: What does happen when you think about sex in a public washroom?   There has been no traceable record of that ever happening in human's history. It's an idillic situation for which no rules have been yet set, given there is no need for them. It's like an axiom. There is no sex talk in the washroom (unless it is about prospective partners waiting outside).  

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Phantasma wrote:

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Lahtina wrote: Wow! With all those rules in mind, how do you manage to think about sex as well? cause the rules are specifically designed to prevent you from thinking about sex while at the bathroom. We got a team of scientist working on these things.

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Daeveed wrote:

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This is the rule. When you're in the men's room alone you needn't wash your hands when you're finished... but if another guy is in there with you, scrub your hands as if you were preparing for brain surgery.

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God wrote:

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why do you think we have soft hands....huh

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Daeveed wrote:

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This is the rule.
When you're in the men's room alone you needn't wash your hands when you're finished... but if another guy is in there with you, scrub your hands as if you were preparing for brain surgery.

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Afrodita wrote:

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I have a VERY DUMB question.... Do you guys wash your hands after you go pee???

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This is the rule.

When you're in the men's room alone you needn't wash your hands when you're finished... but if another guy is in there with you, scrub your hands as if you were preparing for brain surgery.

Afrodita wrote:

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I have a VERY DUMB question....

Do you guys wash your hands after you go pee???

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Chale_Tanga wrote:

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Is there a rule about shaking it?  Or about snow writing?

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If you shake it more than 3 times, that's masturbation.

I have not spent enough winters here to know about snow writing rules.

That's perfect!!

In addition, I would like to post the MALE RULES OF EXISTENCE.

1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolat.

2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts.  You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call bull****. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)

7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes.  For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden.  You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man (In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional).

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with ("jumping on the grenade") is your legal duty.  Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is
forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

12. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return is required to grant it.

13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem - you didn't see nothin'.

15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

17. You girlfriend must bond with your buddy's girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them.  You are not required to make nice with her gal pals' significant dick-heads; low-level sports bonding is all the law requires.

18. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

19. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

20. (Gas Warfare Act) You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you've brought her to climax.  But if you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

21. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.

22. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.  Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another man in the nuts.

23. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

24. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.  Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

25. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos.  Ever.  Issue closed.

26. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:  "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon, give me one more!  Harder!" "Another set and we can hit the showers." " Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"

27. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both.  That's just plain mean.

28. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

29. Never join your girlfriend/wife in discussing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response.

30. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing:  either both urinating or both waiting in line.  In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

31. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him... too gay.

32. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention.  If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "Fuck OFF!" you are absolved of your responsibility.

33.  The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.

34.  It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:

a). When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b). The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c). After wrecking your boss' car.
d). One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e). When she is using her teeth

35.  On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

36.  Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.  Hang up if necessary.

37.  It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

38.  Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime, green, orange or sky blue.

39.  The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Playstation 2. End of story

God wrote:

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Guys let's discuss this...... Phanta some very interesting points on this matter. Phantasma Gave me some good points like * Writing graffiti in the open section of the bathroom is only acceptable if nobody can see you. Writing in the stalls is similarly acceptable. * Don't start unzipping until you're protected by the privacy of the urinal. Don't step back until you've closed your pants again. * Flushing is optional. Over time, the water will become a rich orange. At this point, flushing is mandatory. * Always look at the wall. Looking down means you're obsessed or don't know what you're doing. Turning your head more than 15 degrees on either direction will immediatelly identify you as gay *Given a string of unoccupied urinals, you must choose one on the outside. When one outside urinal is occupied, use the other side, then middle. Avoid standing directly next to somebody at all costs.

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