PINEAPPLE: You are quick to decide and even quicker to act. You are brave in asking career changes, if that is what is to your advantage. You have exceptional organizing abilities and are undaunted by the size of the task at hand. You tend to be self reliant, sincere and honest in your dealings with others. Though you are not given to making friends very quickly, but once you do, it is for life. You rarely, if ever, make romantic overtures. Your partner is often impressed with your sterling qualities but disappointed in your ability to show affection.
PINEAPPLE: You are quick to decide and even quicker to act. You are brave in asking career changes, if that is what is to your advantage. You have exceptional organizing abilities and are undaunted by the size of the task at hand. You tend to be self reliant, sincere and honest in your dealings with others. Though you are not given to making friends very quickly, but once you do, it is for life. You rarely, if ever, make romantic overtures. Your partner is often impressed with your sterling qualities but disappointed in your ability to show affection.
The opinions expressed by this poster can be offensive and are mainly directed at Dogo. Delta gamma b i t c h-orama. Copyright 2008 All rights reserved.
The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week.
When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest.
The theme was Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was that they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.
About seven minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top Ten List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone.
The top ten were:
10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
3. Viagra, home of the whopper! 2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!
And the unanimous number one slogan:
1. This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs.
1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
3 ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a Cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example.
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. (For those in Toronto, it's also Hwy 404... destination can not be located.)
16. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a Cube Farm.
17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.
Civilization is the encouragement of differences. Civilization thus becomes a synonym of democracy. Force, violence, pressure, or compulsion with a view to conformity, is both uncivilized and undemocratic."
>Pick a fruit and forward it on (don't forget to send it back to the > >person that sent it to you) with the fruit you chose on the subject line. > > > >Which fruit will you pick if you were handed these: > > > >1. Orange > > > >2. Apple > > > >3. Banana > > > >4. Coconut > > > >5. Pineapple > > > >6. Papaya > > > >7. Mango > > > >8. Cherry > > > >9. Black Grapes > > > >10. Peach > > > >11. Custard Apple > > > >12. Pear > > > > > >What is your pick??? > > > >(Pick before you scroll down ya.... Do Not CHEAT!!!) > > > >........... > >.................. > >......................... > >............................ > > > >ORANGE: If orange is your favorite fruit, it speaks of a person who >has enduring patience and will power. You like to do things slowly, >but > >very thoroughly and are completely undaunted by hard work. You tend >to be shy, but are reliable and trustworthy friend. You have an >aesthetic bent of mind. You select your partner with care and you love >with all your heart, and not in for just a fling. You avoid conflict >at all costs. > > > >APPLE: If apple is your favorite fruit, you are an extravagant, > >impulsive and outspoken person, often with a bit of a temper. While >you may not be the best organizer yourself, you make a good team >leader and are good at taking things forward. You can take quick >action in most situations. You enjoy travel immensely. You ooze with >charm when you are with your partner. You have an enthusiasm for life, >unmatched by most. > > > >BANANA: You are a softie! Loving, gentle, warm and sympathetic by >nature is the banana lover. You often lack in self-confidence and are >quite timid by nature. People often take advantage of your sweet >temperedness, and sheer vulnerability to a situation. You adore your >partner in every which way, both for their mental and physical beauty! >Because of the way you are, your relationship is always very much in >harmony! > > > >COCONUT: The coconut lover is a serious, very thoughtful and > >contemplative person. Though you enjoy socializing, you are >particular about the company you keep. You tend to be stubborn but not >necessarily foolhardy. Shrewd, quick-witted and alert, you ensure that >you are right on top of any given scenario, especially at work. You >need a partner with brains, and while passion is important it >certainly isn't everything for you. > > > >PINEAPPLE: You are quick to decide and even quicker to act. You are > >brave in asking career changes, if that is what is to your advantage. >You have exceptional organizing abilities and are undaunted by the >size of the task at hand. You tend to be self reliant, sincere and >honest in your dealings with others. Though you are not given to >making friends very quickly, but once you do, it is for life. You >rarely, if ever, make romantic overtures. Your partner is often >impressed with your sterling qualities but disappointed in your >ability to show affection. > > > >PAPAYA: You are truly fearless and take much that happens in life, in > >your stride. You give considerable thought to things you do. You have >a sense of humor that along with your generous nature keeps you in >most people's good books. You are a go-getter in your professional >life, and have a knack for being in the right place at the right time. >You enjoy meeting new people and seeing new sights whenever you can. >Your sense of humor is what attracts members of the opposite sex to >you more than anything else. It is simply charming! > > > >MANGO: A mango lover is a personality to be reckoned with, quite >often you are a person who has quite fixed ideas, and influencing you >is not an easy task. You tend to be an extremist with strong likes and >dislikes, and times even like to control a situation. You enjoy >getting involved in something that presents mental challenge. Strong >as you may be, you are like a kitten when you are with your partner. >You accommodate the love of your life, and make up for all the strong >will elsewhere! > > > >CHERRY: If cherry is your favorite fruit, life isn't always as sweet for > >you. You often face ups and downs, particularly professionally, and > >find that you make small sums of $$$, instead of a lump sum. You have >a fertile imagination and are often involved in creative pursuits. You >are a very sincere and loyal partner, but find that expressing your >feelings is hot very easy. Your home is your have, and you love >nothing more than being surrounded by close family and your beloved >partner. > > > >BLACK GRAPES: You are a polite person in general, but do have quick > >flare-ups of temper that cool down just as quickly. You enjoy beauty in > >all forms, including beautiful people. You are very popular because >of your warm , gregarious nature. You have a zest for life, you enjoy > >everything you do, right from! the way you dress, to your style and >your day-to-day life. Your partner must share your zeal and zing for >life to enjoy all you have to offer! > > > >PEACH: Like a peach, you enjoy the juice of life & all its lush > >ripeness! You are the friendly sort, and are quite frank and >outspoken, which adds to your charm. You are quick to forgive and >forget; and value your friendships highly. You have an independent and >ambitious streak in you, that makes you a real go-getter. You are the >ideal lover, fiery and passionate but sincere and faithful in love. >You don't however like to display all that passion in public. > > > >CUSTARD APPLE: You are a modest and conservative person who can be >quite sensitive at times. You tend to be thoughtful and contemplative, >and therefore are rarely rash in doing things. You are quite ambitious >and are good at anything that requires much detailing or working with >numbers. You are quick at finding fault with others. While looking for >a partner, you value a person's intellect far above their looks or >good old passion. You are quite shy and not very comfortable >demonstrating affection. > > > >PEAR: If you put your mind to something you can do it successfully, >but by and large you tend to be fickle and have trouble completing a >task with the enthusiasm you started it with. You need to know the >results of your efforts almost immediately. You enjoy mental >stimulation and love to get into a good discussion! You tend to be a >restless and high-strung person, and are easily excited. > >
