The Clinton apology speech, translated into Ebonics...
Good evening. (What's up).
This afternoon in this room, from this chair, Itestified before the Office of ndependent Counseland the grand jury. (Today at my crib these suckers and playa-haters started grillin' me).
I answered their questions truthfully, includingquestions about my private life, questions no American citizen would ever want to answer. (They started frontin'about my game and asking all kinds of foul shiat).
Still, I must take complete responsibility for all my actions, both public and private. And that is why I am speaking to you tonight. (I'm tired of these haters throwing salt in my game. I'm going to let y'all know my Mackin style tonight).
As you know, in a deposition in January, I was asked questions about my relationship with Monica Lewinsky. While my answers were legally accurate, I did not volunteer information. (Awhile back, you nosy mother fukkers wanted to know if I was hittin'ho-ass Monica's skins. You did not have any video, so if you want to believe a 10 ho, then oh well).
Indeed, I did have a relationship with Ms.Lewinsky that was not appropriate. In fact, it was wrong. It constituted a critical lapse in judgment and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely and completely responsible. (Yeah, I was hittin' that dime dropping Biotch! She was only sucking my jimmiethough. I was stupid for messing with a young big-mouthed skank........, but don't hate me because I'm a playa).
But I told the grand jury today and I say to you now that at no time did i ask anyone to lie, to hide or destroy evidence. (Outside of that shait I told punk-ass AG (Al Gore) to put on gay-ass Starr, Monica and hersnitching friend, I was chill the whole time).
I can only tell you I was motivated by many factors. First, by a desire to protect myself from the embarrassment of my own conduct. (Man look,I heard she was down with what ever. She wasn't all that but I plannedto pimp her around to my boyz in the Senate).
The independent counsel investigation moved on to my staff and friends, then into my private life. And now the investigation itself is under investigation. (Those haters started sweatin' my homeys and my peeps. I got real pissed when they tried to make me look like I'm not real or something. As a matter of fact their shady asses are on the take anyway).
This has gone on too long, cost too much and hurt too many innocent people. (Tryin' to hit me they wasted a lot of Cheddar and pissed off my Crew).
Nothing is more important to me personally. But it is private, and I intend to reclaim my family life for my family. It's nobody's business but ours. (I'm a pimp and playa and I'm going to be one! Get some business'. Hillary is chill because I got more than enough White Water dirt on her a$$, that will get her sent up before I'm outta here).
It is time to stop the pursuit of personal destruction and the prying into private lifeandget on with our national life. (Quit harassing me because I'm going to Flossregardless. Just in case y'all forgot untilyou chumps ax me I'm still the ****!)
Now it is time - in fact, it is past time- to move on. (Eff all y'all, I don'tgive a fukk!)
