quote: Originally posted by: LGigolo "Answering Machine Messages My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner. Hi. Now YOU say something. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. "Hi. Now you say something." "Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?" (From a Japanese person in Toronto) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave sexy message, I call sooner! "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets." "Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.' "Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you." "This is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call." "Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you." "Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back." "If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message." "You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message." "You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of your Voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you." Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you. REMINDS ME when I called a friends' cell number not long ago and I hear from the other side: "Hey Wassup?" I begint to respond with something like "Hey man..." and I get interrupted by his voice again telling me "hold on a sec." and there is some noise people and stereo music sounds... so I hold for a bit, and then some more... about a minute later I finally hear the BEEPING sound for me to leave him a message... I found it so funny that I started lauguing and hung up!-- Edited by LGigolo at 12:47, 2005-04-01"
These are so funny, especially 13 and 16 and I looooooved the last one, which I will start using as soon as I remember how to record the outgoing message on my machine...
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Dios nos conceda SERENIDAD para aceptar las cosas que no podemos cambiar, VALOR para cambiar las que podemos, y SABIDURIA para conocer la diferencia.
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.
Hi. Now YOU say something.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
"Hi. Now you say something."
"Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"
(From a Japanese person in Toronto) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave sexy message, I call sooner!
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."
"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.'
"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."
"This is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
"Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."
"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."
"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message."
"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of your Voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
REMINDS ME when I called a friends' cell number not long ago and I hear from the other side: "Hey Wassup?" I begint to respond with something like "Hey man..." and I get interrupted by his voice again telling me "hold on a sec." and there is some noise people and stereo music sounds... so I hold for a bit, and then some more... about a minute later I finally hear the BEEPING sound for me to leave him a message... I found it so funny that I started lauguing and hung up!
-- Edited by LGigolo at 12:47, 2005-04-01
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Not everything I post or say on foro are necesarily true facts. <- THAT is a fact! :blankstare:
-- Edited by LGigolo at 12:47, 2005-04-01"
