La senora media dormida en su cama escucha cuando llega su marido del > trabajo y siente como es acariciada levemente, casi de manera furtiva, > como recorriendo suavemente la periferia de su cuerpo, y siente como su cuerpo > reacciona inmediatamente a las caricias, el marido toma sus manos y las > recoge, mete una de sus manos por su espalda y llega atrevidamente hasta > sus redondeces, en este momento la señora esta que echa chispas, jadeante y > deseosa, entonces sus piernas son abruptamente levantadas, la mujer > siente que la pasión perdida por años ha regresado y siente como su hombre > recarga sobre ella todo su peso, siente en su nuca el aliento cálido de su > marido, ella levanta las caderas separa e inclina sus piernas y se dispone a ser > tomada, cuando de pronto su marido suelta sus piernas, gira sobre sí > mismo y se acomoda en su lado de la cama. > La mujer atónita y respirando hondamente pregunta, qué pasó???? > El responde ¡¡¡ya mi vida!!! > ¡Ya que! grandísimo cabrón??? > Ya duérmete mi cielo ya encontré el control remoto. JA, JA, JA !!!!!!!!!!!
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your faceandlaughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
One for the ladies:
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'what setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'what does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma '
'duh' And they say blondes are dumb...
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
