Grandmas Don't Know Everything

Little Tony had been playing outside with the otherkids for a while when he came into the house and askedher, 'Grandma, what's that thing called when twopeople sleep in the same room and one is on top of theother?'> She was a little taken aback, but she decided to justtell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse,darling'> Little Tony just said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.> A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It'scalled Bunk Beds.> And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you.'


-New Office Sick Policy

SICKNESS:No excuse...We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof.We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able tocome to work. 

AN OPERATION:We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage anythoughts that you may need an operation. We believe that as long as youare an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have and shouldnot consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and tohave anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargainedfor.

DEATH: Other than your own:This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do forthem, and we are sure that someone else can attend to the arrangements.However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will beglad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently letyou leave 1 hour early, provide! d your share of the work is aheadenough to keep the job going in your absence. Your own: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least twoweeks notice as we feel it is your duty to train your replacement. 

ALSO: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, wewill follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance,those whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00-8:15, and so on. Ifyou're unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until thenext day when your time comes again.



Ed Zachary Disease


A  woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist.

Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr. Chang. So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said "OK take off all your crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room." Again the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So she did. Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates." Worried,the woman asked anxiously "Oh my God Dr. Chang! What is Ed Zachary  Disease?"