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Post Info TOPIC: What if Santa answered these letters?
go_fish


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RE: What if Santa answered these letters?
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Top Ten Signs Santa Doesn´t Like Your Kid

(from good ol´ David Letterman!)


- 10 - Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"


- 9 - Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes


- 8 - Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling


- 7 - By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are Styrofoam peanuts


- 6 - Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed.


- 5 - Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the “Dork” list


- 4 - Sends him off on one of them Carnival Cruises with Kathie Lee


- 3 - First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beard and I'll put the hurt on you."


- 2 - Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown."


- 1 - Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"



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Dogo


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Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy

-----------------------------------------------------------------


Timmy,

That whiny begging crap may work with your folks, but that **** doesn't fly up here. You're getting a sweater....again.

Santa



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Jaime Cruz


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go_fish


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Toooootally off-season, I know, but it's too funny!




If Santa answered these letters...





Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.

Love,

Susan







Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the ****s and carrots make the deer fart in my face.

You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and some Toblerone.

Santa





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