luna chiquitita wrote: My best friend called me yesterday to ask for some advice on a unique situation she is dealing with.
Her EX and baby daddy is currently sitting in jail for reasons unknown to her but he's apparently always had problems with the law... nothing significant I assume 'cause he's always doing 6 months for one thing another 8 months for another and so on. SO, now he's sitting in jail and he gets a deportation letter from Immigration.
Now to give you some background info. They were together AGES ago, had a baby and split up 'cause he wasn't who she thought (as the story goes). Now years have passed, he's been in and out of their son's life but never been much of a contributor and in fact hasn't seen his son for like 2 years.
Back to present day, so he sends her a letter from jail, asking her if she can write a letter to the Immigration ppl and say that on compassionate grounds they keep him in Canada 'cause his son is going to miss him . Now she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to write the letter but she still feels torn up about it.
I think she doesn't owe him anything. He's never done his part as a father so why should she have to lie? What do you guys think?
-- Edited by luna chiquitita at 14:04, 2007-02-15
Oh, you people are so cold-hearted I would advise your friend to write the letter, but to make it specifically clear that she's doing this not out of gratitude to the father of her son, but out of compassion. After all, this is the father of her child, and one day, whether she likes it or not, the boy will very probably try to meet daddy, and maybe even try to have some sort of relationship with him. Besides, you never know. Maybe the baby daddy might be grateful and change his ways. Chances are he won't, but at least she's being the bigger person, and only because of her son. She can at least teach her child that one can learn to forgive and move on. If she's not compromising in any way by writing this letter, and it's a one-time thing that she won't ever have to do again, I definitely think she should.
hmmmmm... toughie, just b/c of all the emotional aspects of it. Your friend need to take into account the son's feelings towards the dad, also she need to consider if its really worth the effort to keep him in this country. If the son is the only ground that he feels he has in order to merit him not being deported (and he hasnt even been in the son's life for the past 2 years), then I really dont think he's got a leg to stand on. He also doesnt really have any sort of right to ask this of your friend, considering that he hasnt taken care of his son or even really taken an interest in his life.
I would let buddy know that he has no right to ask this of your friend, and then move on.
HOWEVER, if the son wants the dad in his life, then thats a whole different story. I'd make the effort if my son wanted to get to know him. But if not, then goodbye Charlie.
you know his NAME?! IIIIII don't even know his name. (ok I'm lying) but WOW your holistic retreat to the bowels of an ancient sea goat really worked wonders for your psychic abilities. Not much for the pungant smell tho
ANYWHORE, all joking aside, thanks to everyone for their suggestions. I spoke with her last night and she's thinking of just ignoring the letter and letting the chips fall where they may.
hmmmmm... toughie, just b/c of all the emotional aspects of it. Your friend need to take into account the son's feelings towards the dad, also she need to consider if its really worth the effort to keep him in this country. If the son is the only ground that he feels he has in order to merit him not being deported (and he hasnt even been in the son's life for the past 2 years), then I really dont think he's got a leg to stand on. He also doesnt really have any sort of right to ask this of your friend, considering that he hasnt taken care of his son or even really taken an interest in his life.
I would let buddy know that he has no right to ask this of your friend, and then move on.
HOWEVER, if the son wants the dad in his life, then thats a whole different story. I'd make the effort if my son wanted to get to know him. But if not, then goodbye Charlie.
FINE U WANT ME TO WRITE A LETTER OF COMPASSION THEN U SIGN ME THIS.....
PERSONALLY ME KNOWING THAT IM A SINGLE PARENT I WOULDNT WANT MY CHILD TO BLAME ME FOR ANYTHING...... REGARDLESS IF HIS FATHER IS IN AND OUT, I WANT MY CHILD TO MAKE THAT DECISION NOT ME.....I DONT THINK I WOULD WANT MY CHILD TO TELL ME MORROW SEE MY DAD IS NO LONGER AROUND AND I CANT FIND HIM CUZ OF YOU, CUZ U DIDNT WANNA HELP HIM.........
ouch... that wouldn't be fair for your kid to say that to you. You're not the one that got him in jail, HE got himself in jail but I could see how something like that would happen. Kind of like when a stepkid says to their stepparent "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD" etc...
@ Qui, thanks for your suggestion. I will pass on the note. Although, I still don't think she owes HIM anything but like Confu said, maybe she owes it to her kid
FINE U WANT ME TO WRITE A LETTER OF COMPASSION THEN U SIGN ME THIS.....
PERSONALLY ME KNOWING THAT IM A SINGLE PARENT I WOULDNT WANT MY CHILD TO BLAME ME FOR ANYTHING...... REGARDLESS IF HIS FATHER IS IN AND OUT, I WANT MY CHILD TO MAKE THAT DECISION NOT ME.....I DONT THINK I WOULD WANT MY CHILD TO TELL ME MORROW SEE MY DAD IS NO LONGER AROUND AND I CANT FIND HIM CUZ OF YOU, CUZ U DIDNT WANNA HELP HIM.........
__________________
I DONT CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, IM A PROUD MEMBER OF THE S.L.U.T CAMPAIGN
This is the kind of situation that would make your friend a lifetime enemy of her exboyfriend. I am sure the exboyfriend will make her life miserable if she doesn't 'help'.
If I were her I would demand that the request for the letter come from a lawyer. If a lawyer feels that this is a viable solution then the lawyer will put his or her name on it.
This would accomplish a few things
- The ex would have to invest time and money to find a lawyer. If he is serious about staying in the country then he should put some effort into it. - The lawyer may suggest other alternatives that have nothing to do with your friend writing a letter. - Add a mediator between your friend and her ex. The less direct contact she has with her ex, the better.
The opinions expressed by this poster can be offensive and are mainly directed at Dogo. Delta gamma b i t c h-orama. Copyright 2008 All rights reserved.
luna chiquitita wrote: My best friend called me yesterday to ask for some advice on a unique situation she is dealing her.
Her EX and baby daddy is currently sitting in jail for reasons unknown to her but he's apparently always had problems with the law... nothing significant I assume 'cause he's always doing 6 months for one thing another 8 months for another and so on. SO, now he's sitting in jail and he gets a deportation letter from Immigration.
Now to give you some background info. They were together AGES ago, had a baby and split up 'cause he wasn't who she thought (as the story goes). Now years have passed, he's been in and out of their son's life but never been much of a contributor and in fact hasn't seen his son for like 2 years.
Back to present day, so he sends her a letter from jail, asking her if she can write a letter to the Immigration ppl and say that on compassionate grounds they keep him in Canada 'cause his son is going to miss him . Now she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to write the letter but she still feels torn up about it.
I think she doesn't owe him anything. He's never done his part as a father so why should she have to lie? What do you guys think?
When he was not around as a father, she found a way to make it through the hard times. Now he is only contacting her because he needs her – he’s trying to use her. I say she return the favour of letting him find alternative solutions to his situation.
If he really loved his kid, he would have gotten a job and taken care of business the right way instead of hustling and ending up in jail for one reason or another.
Tell him to take a hike.
Or he can marry Don Plyboard's friend and they can both stay in the country.
luna chiquitita wrote: My best friend called me yesterday to ask for some advice on a unique situation she is dealing her.
Her EX and baby daddy is currently sitting in jail for reasons unknown to her but he's apparently always had problems with the law... nothing significant I assume 'cause he's always doing 6 months for one thing another 8 months for another and so on. SO, now he's sitting in jail and he gets a deportation letter from Immigration.
Now to give you some background info. They were together AGES ago, had a baby and split up 'cause he wasn't who she thought (as the story goes). Now years have passed, he's been in and out of their son's life but never been much of a contributor and in fact hasn't seen his son for like 2 years.
Back to present day, so he sends her a letter from jail, asking her if she can write a letter to the Immigration ppl and say that on compassionate grounds they keep him in Canada 'cause his son is going to miss him . Now she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to write the letter but she still feels torn up about it.
I think she doesn't owe him anything. He's never done his part as a father so why should she have to lie? What do you guys think?
deport the SOB...who needs a father like that around their kids.
My best friend called me yesterday to ask for some advice on a unique situation she is dealing with.
Her EX and baby daddy is currently sitting in jail for reasons unknown to her but he's apparently always had problems with the law... nothing significant I assume 'cause he's always doing 6 months for one thing another 8 months for another and so on. SO, now he's sitting in jail and he gets a deportation letter from Immigration.
Now to give you some background info. They were together AGES ago, had a baby and split up 'cause he wasn't who she thought (as the story goes). Now years have passed, he's been in and out of their son's life but never been much of a contributor and in fact hasn't seen his son for like 2 years.
Back to present day, so he sends her a letter from jail, asking her if she can write a letter to the Immigration ppl and say that on compassionate grounds they keep him in Canada 'cause his son is going to miss him . Now she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to write the letter but she still feels torn up about it.
I think she doesn't owe him anything. He's never done his part as a father so why should she have to lie? What do you guys think?
(as the story goes). Now years have passed, he's been in and out of their son's life but never been much of a contributor and in fact hasn't seen his son for like 2 years.
I would advise your friend to write the letter, but to make it specifically clear that she's doing this not out of gratitude to the father of her son, but out of compassion. After all, this is the father of her child, and one day, whether she likes it or not, the boy will very probably try to meet daddy, and maybe even try to have some sort of relationship with him. Besides, you never know. Maybe the baby daddy might be grateful and change his ways. Chances are he won't, but at least she's being the bigger person, and only because of her son. She can at least teach her child that one can learn to forgive and move on. If she's not compromising in any way by writing this letter, and it's a one-time thing that she won't ever have to do again, I definitely think she should.
you know his NAME?! IIIIII don't even know his name. (ok I'm lying) but WOW your holistic retreat to the bowels of an ancient sea goat really worked wonders for your psychic abilities. Not much for the pungant smell tho 
Roses are red violets are korny, when I think of you Ohh baby I get horny...
GO SUCK A TOMATO! 
they should get married and live happily ever after.. good times.
