It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carryingthepost through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by thewhole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent himonhis way with a gift check for $500.At the second house they presented him fine Cuban cigars in an 18-caratgold box.The folks at the third house handed him a case of 30-year old Scotchwhisky.At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in herlingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to thebedroomwhere she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had everexperienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where thedumbblonde fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, tomatoes, ham, sausage,blueberrywaffles, and freshly-squeezed orange juice.When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. Asshewas pouring, he noticed a $5 note sticking out from under the cup'sbottomedge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what'sthefive dollars for?" Well," said the dumb blonde, "last night, I told myhusband that today would be your last day, and that we should dosomethingspecial for you. I asked him what to give you". He said, Screw him.Givehim five bucks." She smiled prettily. "The breakfast was my idea."
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy
The 87 year old said "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it . Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves.
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves...by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard"
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this **** but me."
